Brutal Beers

We all crave the unspoken enormities in life. As students, surrounded by the tasteless swill of Coors and Miller, some of us long for the higher rafters of brewed brilliance. The traumatic zing of fresh hops, the earthy wave of toasted malts, the realization that after one beer, your night is over.

For those screaming, “Yes, that’s me! What must I do?” consider these four unique beers. Like Apocalypse Now, each dances upon the razor blade of madness, heaping on the flavor and ferocity with nothing but contempt for humanity.

Stone Arrogant Bastard Ale — Escondido, California.

A beer so ambitiously named seems destined to disappoint, but Escondido’s Stone Brewery has crafted a malevolent monster of an ale with its Arrogant Bastard.

Like Medusa, the Bastard boasts a diverse array of heads, borrowing influences from many brews. Though billed as an ale, the Bastard pours like wild honey, boasts seductive shades of walnuts, barley and toffee, and burns like the fiercest of India Pale Ales, thanks to a hidden layer of dry citrus hops. Every bottle yields a different experience, enough to warrant the brew’s intimidating title as well as a heavy-duty trip to the nearest liquor outlet.

Thankfully, the Arrogant Bastard is widely available at beer stores in and outside of California. BevMo carries it regularly, and it is also served on tap at The Lab Gastropub.

Flying Dog Gonzo Imperial Porter — Frederick, Maryland

Dedicated to the memory and spirit of the late gonzo journalist Hunter S. Thompson, this rich porter is an acid-washed trip to Vegas and then some.

Weighing in at 7.8 percent alcohol and brewed by the fun folks at Maryland’s Flying Dog Brewery, the Gonzo pours dark as an oak tree, but comes laced with sweet accents of coffee, dark chocolate and even a twist of licorice. It is loaded with enough malt extract to add a welcome air of pretension to what is otherwise a gregarious, balls-to-the-wall brew.

Still, watch out for the hidden sting of the alcohol. Like Thompson himself, the Gonzo might seem sweet as a caramel at a first sip, but there are lurking demons in each bottle. Those brave enough to take the plunge can pick up a case of Gonzo at BevMo, or, pending availability, Trojan Liquor, where other Flying Dog brews like the Raging Bitch have been found.

Bear Republic Hop Rod Rye — Healdsburg, California

Bear Republic’s rather bland Racer 5 IPA has been the subject of unwarranted praise, but its less-publicized  Hop Rod Rye India Pale Ale is an engine of flavored fury.

The secret here is the inclusion of rye with the traditional medley of malt extract and hops. Its presence renders this amber-orange colored brew one of the fattest IPAs on the market, with an inherent spiciness to compliment the more traditional hints of grapefruit, grass and flowers. This makes the Hop Rod Rye ideal for both hot and cold climates, crisp and bitter enough for a night on the beach, but also capable of warming up a night in Idyllwild, when there are no logs to be burned.

The Hop Rod Rye can be tougher to find than other Bear Republic beers. BevMo is a fine place to start, but be prepared to try another location if your search comes up empty at first.

Stone Ruination IPA —Escondido, California.

This is it. The Big One, Shiva, the Godzilla of American IPAs. If you value your taste buds, stop reading now.

Stone’s Ruination IPA might not be the strongest IPA on the planet, that honor goes to Scotland’s Sink the Bismarck. But for American beers, it’s a borderline liability issue.

Bearing the thoughtful insignia of a winged beast, the aptly named Ruination is a hop-lover’s fantasy and a Blue Moon fan’s worst nightmare, with blasts of pine, bitter citrus, alpine flowers and cereal grains. Were the brew’s alcohol content any higher than its 7.2 percent, it would be undrinkable. Thankfully, the Stone scientists have added a welcome curtain of raisin to soften the burn left by the beer’s rating of 100-plus International Bitterness Units.

Don’t even think of enjoying a nice steak or salad with this beer — you won’t taste a morsel. The Ruination is not a beverage to be taken lightly, but for those mature and masochistic enough, it’s a transcendent experience. BevMo can help you in your search for this bottled enlightenment.