Family the biggest challenge for Sam


Earlier this week, Michael Sam Sr., the father of gay NFL prospect Michael Sam, aired his concerns to the national media that his son would be incapable of providing his future grandchildren with a traditional family environment to grow up in.

After Sam Sr. received a text message from his son simply stating, “Dad, I’m gay,” he reportedly had a hard time digesting the news.

“I couldn’t eat no more, so I went to Applebee’s to have drinks,” Sam Sr. told The New York Times. “I don’t want my grandkids raised in that kind of environment.”

Oh, the irony.

That’s right — the man who aired a deeply controversial reaction to his son’s sexual orientation to the most-read newspaper in the world is concerned about someone else’s ability to provide a loving family environment.

He even went as far to say that late Hall of Fame defensive lineman Deacon Jones is “turning over in his grave.”

As a journalist, I am usually thankful when people give non-cookie cutter quotes — but I would never wish something like this upon anyone.

People have mostly had one of two reactions to Sam Sr.’s feelings — one camp is shocked that these emotions were disclosed to the press, the other is sympathetic to Sam Sr.’s reaction due to the seemingly casual manner in which he was informed of his son’s sexual orientation.

I must admit, at first I was surprised at Sam’s decision to inform his father of his orientation through a text message. But the more I thought about it, the more it made sense. Sam has known his father far longer than any of the bloggers questioning that fateful text message. He probably had an inkling of what his father’s reaction would be (losing his appetite and going to get drunk), and didn’t want to hear it with his own ears. I can hardly blame him for waiting to tell his father long after his friends, waiting until the last possible moment before his personal life became international news. It might not have been the right decision, if he didn’t want his father to express his knee-jerk reaction to The New York Times. But who could ever anticipate a parents doing that?

Sam Sr. has since told the Galveston County Daily News that he was radically misquoted by the Times, saying, “[Sam] has made a great statement in coming out, and he should be able to play in the NFL. I love him unconditionally.”

I would honestly love to believe that Sam Sr. was indeed drastically misquoted, and I am certainly not writing this to argue that he doesn’t love his son. But Sam’s relationship with his father obviously isn’t as simple as we’d all like it to be — Sam Jr.  also told the Times that he stays with his friends rather than his family when he returns home to Hitchcock, Tex.

Everyone has had to admit things to their parents that they’d rather not. But it’s shocking to see the disparity between Sam’s seemingly nonchalant demeanor in interviews with ESPN and the Times, in which he said coming out to the world was “nothing” compared to the hardships he endured as a child and the far less direct approach he took in disclosing his orientation to his father.

The tragedies the Sam family has endured makes Sam Sr.’s reaction even more cringe-worthy. Considering that according to the Times two of his children are dead, two more are in jail and another went missing as a child, shouldn’t he be more accepting of his remaining son?

Many have speculated that Sam chose to text his father because he was nervous about what he’d hear on the other end of the line. But maybe that’s not it at all.

Maybe he felt his father only deserved a text. Maybe he wanted to keep him at an arm’s length. Maybe that’s why he forgoes staying with him on trips back to his hometown. Maybe he wanted to keep him informed on a need-to-know basis before the word got to him through the media.

From now on, Sam Sr. might not even deserve that courtesy.

 

Will Laws is a senior majoring in print and digital journalism. He is also the associate managing editor of the Daily Trojan. His column, “Laying Down the Laws,” runs every other Friday.  

 

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