Ask Tiffany: Keeping a beau in limbo

I met this amazing guy while studying abroad last year, but there was no expectation for anything serious because I’d have to go back to America. I recently saw him again during a family trip to Europe, and our feelings are still there, stronger than ever! We have an undeniable connection, but I have had bad experiences with long distance in the past … I am planning on moving to Europe this summer regardless, but I don’t want to lose him before then due to my commitment issues. What do I do?

It’s perfectly reasonable that you’re hesitant to do long distance if you’ve been burned in the past. But, as you’ve alluded to, you can’t expect him to just twiddle his thumbs and wait around for you either. So, why not tell him where you’re at and let him decide how to feel about it? Honesty, man, honesty.

Telling someone how strongly you feel for them can be scary, but the worst result is a chip to your ego if the feelings are unreciprocated. Even then, this knowledge would allow you to focus on moving on. If this gent is really worthy of your pining, he will have the emotional capacity to have a frank conversation about your predicament.

I advise to take it day by day and resist trying to plan your life too far in advance. When you see him again, maybe you will be in a place where you both feel like a relationship is feasible. Despite the passage of time, an incredible connection can’t be shaken off too easily.

Tiffany Kuan is a senior majoring in business administration. Her blog advice column, Ask Tiffany, runs every Monday.

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