Can you believe it’s been one year? A full 365 days! Fifty-two weeks! Two seasons of G’s to Gents! Yes, believe it or not, an entire year has passed since the great chocolate milk debacle of 2008. Last year in Barrington, Ill., the school district voted to eliminate all flavored milk products from the lunch [...]
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Students, protect yourselves against the pig
Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had the swine flu. How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? As much as he could before he caught the swine flu. Where’s Waldo? I don’t know, but there’s probably a rash of swine flu cases there. Jokes aside, the [...]
Read the rest of this article »Students should have input in successor
On Monday, USC President Steven B. Sample announced his retirement in August, bringing an end to a 19-year tenure marked by great achievement in the academic, athletic and financial profiles of the university. The progress made under Sample’s leadership is easily quantifiable — the school’s ranking has risen from 51st to a highly respectable 26th [...]
Read the rest of this article »Food options leave students in the dark
What’s for dinner? It’s a question that’s perplexed mankind on a daily basis since the beginning of time. Unfortunately, if you’re a USC student, the correct answer is “nothing on campus during the weekends” — unless you’re lucky enough to have a meal plan for either of the decadent dining halls on campus. Currently, all [...]
Read the rest of this article »Union churlishly rails on Metrolink cameras
As a general rule, when something is broken, it’s in the interest of at least one party to try to fix it. The task of remedying the situation is made even easier if the root of the problem is easily identifiable. These statements seem like no-brainers that merit no further argument. Unless, of course, you’re [...]
Read the rest of this article »Letter to the UC student: Expect to pay more
Dear prospective applicant of the University of California class of 2014, What do you want to be when you grow up? A successful businessman? Lawyer? An engineer perhaps? All solid choices, no doubt. But before you answer, you should know that your decision will have a huge impact on your time at any of the [...]
Read the rest of this article »28th Street closure could cause headaches
To close or not to close? That is the question — or is it? Recently, Greek senators in the Undergraduate Student Government decided to re-examine a past proposal that would effectively close off 28th Street to automobile traffic, with the exception of Department of Public Safety vehicles and emergency transportation. The pitch for a blockade [...]
Read the rest of this article »Government tax on soft drinks gets canned
We are fat. This is according to a study conducted by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention that reveals 63 percent of adult Americans have a body mass index in excess of 25.0, and are therefore overweight. And the fact that obesity in American children has tripled in the past 30 years. Or a [...]
Read the rest of this article »Faux newspapers infringe upon respectability
In a move that would make Ashton Kutcher proud, a group known as the Yes Men printed and placed into circulation 100,000 fake copies of the New York Post Monday morning.
Read the rest of this article »Obama not a ‘jackass’ for rebuking Kanye
Unless you’ve been hiding out in a spider hole in Tikrit for the last couple of days, chances are that the backlash from Kanye West’s MTV Video Music Awards meltdown has found a cozy home in your inner ear with no departure date on the horizon. Saturating the airwaves with the voracity of a freshly [...]
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