Lessons in self-love from Lucia


In a political climate that can only be compared to a month-old salmon filet festering in the hot sun, I find myself turning to music to ease the stress currently plaguing our great nation. Given the fact that the current administration has already caused me so much distress, there has been an exponential rise in the amount of music I’ve been listening to.

These days, I’ve been exploring operas that I have yet to familiarize myself with. I recently discovered Gaetano Donizetti’s bel-canto masterpiece Lucia Di Lammermoor, which has been on my radar for some time. Using Met HD On Demand (basically Netflix for opera), I carefully selected one of 12 recordings to choose from, all recorded live from the Metropolitan Opera stage throughout the last six decades. I eventually chose the first recording, from 1956, with Maria Callas in the title role.

The most beautiful thing about music is that one could be listening continually for a lifetime, and there will still be artists, songs, genres and operas to be discovered. The possibilities are theoretically endless. Lucia Di Lammermoor sits as a weird exception for me personally — this opera is already extremely popular among operaphiles, and it’s a title that I’ve heard and read of endlessly in passing. However, given the vast catalogue of operas written since the 17th century, there are bound to be holes in my overall knowledge of this great art form. I figured this opera would come into my life at the right time, like other operas have in the past and I assume others will in the future.

I usually associate each time period in my life with the music I was listening to at the time. Incidentally, with the commencement of fall upon us, I can already feel my seasonal depression flaring up. And as much as I love the fall and winter seasons for their cozy appeal, I know that these next few months are going to be difficult.

But at least I have Lucia by my side as common company. The titular character, Lucia Ashton, is based on The Bride of Lammermoor by Sir Walter Scott, written in the 19th century. Lucia is anxious, referred to by the fragility and delicacy of her emotional state. Though my personality isn’t one-dimensional like the ones I commonly relate to in these operas, I found that I connected with her sensitivity.  She is in love with Edgardo of Ravenswood, the rival family of the Ashtons of Lammermoor. She sets out to marry Edgardo in secret, though after familial involvement she is forced to marry Arturo, Lord of Bucklaw. Things get especially juicy when she goes mad on her wedding night, killing Arturo in the process.

Talk about a red wedding.

But even before any of the shenanigans begin, Lucia begins with her aria “Regnava nel silenzio” (“Reigned in silence”) by recalling an encounter she had with the ghost of a girl who was killed in the spot she’s currently standing. The ghost warns her that her imminent marriage will only end in bloodshed. And yet she goes through with it. Maybe I’m reading too much into things, but regardless of who she marries, won’t there be bloodshed no matter what? Not literally or physically, but emotionally and mentally? In relationships, no matter how in love you are with someone, there is always inevitable pain and suffering that goes along with the harmonious moments. But as someone great once said, (I forgot who and don’t have the patience or time to look it up), there are as many good moments in a relationship as there are bad. It went something like that, I think. Whether this quote is fake or not, I really do believe it to be true.

I don’t believe in soulmates. You just find someone who you care about and with whom you are willing to make it work. Lucia may have believed Edgardo to be her true love, but their relationship was never tested for compatibility. For example, I’m sure Lucia and Edgardo never tried to build IKEA furniture together, or they probably would have broken up much sooner. No relationship is ever going to be stress free — it’s stupid to think otherwise, because something will inevitably come up. However, there is something to be said about the people you choose to make it work with. And with this being the Trump era, it is best to have someone by your side to help you through it. But you need to take care of yourself first.

I sometimes worry my pessimism affects my relationship with my boyfriend, Matthew. I mean, our relationship thrives because of our honesty — and if I’m being honest, Lucia has every right to be anxious about the state of the world. And she lived way before the Trump administration, so Lord knows how’d she react if she were a millennial. But if there is anything she has taught me (or rather didn’t teach me, because she didn’t end up marrying Edgardo and things still ended in bloodshed), it’s to listen to your gut and to keep yourself a priority. Relationships come and go, but you’re stuck with yourself forever.

Arya Roshanian is a “senior” majoring in music. His column, “From The Top,” runs Tuesdays.