From The Top: There is nothing wrong with living life at your own pace


Last Saturday evening was the opening performance for Giuseppe Verdi’s Nabucco at the LA Opera. I’ve mentioned in my column before that opening night at the opera is my favorite time of year. Now that I work for the company, I get to experience every single opening night moving forward — and I can’t think of a better way to spend my evenings than at the opera house.

Since opera superstar Plácido Domingo was singing the title role, there was extra hype in the air prior to curtain. Everyone was practically pissing themselves in excitement over the thought of seeing Domingo perform live. And though the acclaimed Spanish tenor serves as general director of the company, he also performs with them often. But no matter how many times he graces the Dorothy Chandler Pavilion stage or stages abroad, audiences don’t seem to ever get sick of seeing him perform. In fact, the theater was almost filled to capacity, with both new faces and seasoned operaphiles in attendance.

One of those operaphiles in the audience was my former high school voice teacher, Lynne. She tends to frequent the opera as much as I do, but this is the first time I had seen her in years. Knowing she’d be there, we made arrangements to grab a quick drink during the first intermission.

She ended up inviting me to the Founder’s Room in the Dorothy Chandler Pavilion, an exclusive dining room in the theater reserved for high-paying donors. I’d only been once before, years ago, and not by invitation from a donor — I went with a guy I was dating at the time, a singer for the company, during an after-show dinner that was hosted by the opera. There was something different about the air this time. Much more elite, more posh. Regardless, it was a wonderful opportunity to catch up with Lynne and discuss the happenings of our lives over the last two years. Each time we meet, I feel less like her student and more like a colleague, even a friend. It’s a refreshing feeling that I still need to get used to.

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Over champagne and white chocolate-dipped biscotti, we mostly reflected on what I’ve been up to since we saw each other last. Our conversation started to get me thinking of 10 years ago, when I saw myself today. I thought of the person I used to be, a green 15-year-old dreaming to be an opera star.

My life, surprisingly or unsurprisingly, is nowhere near where I thought I’d be. In the last 10 years, I’ve changed career paths four times, experienced numerous major depressive episodes, and have floated in and out of school. I mean, I’m almost 26 years old and I still haven’t earned my bachelor’s degree yet.

And there is nothing wrong with moving at your own pace — in fact, I’m so grateful I took my sweet time figuring out who I want to be and where I want to end up. It’s absurd that society forces us to choose a major and long-term plan at only 18 years old. We can’t legally drink yet, but we’re expected to have our future plans in writing by the time we move into our dorm rooms freshman year.

However, this isn’t to say that I’m not satisfied with where my life is currently headed. I’m definitely happier since deciding to end my time as a stage performer. My only uncertainties arise when I’m around family — I’m still known as the “opera singer” amongst the extended Roshanian clan.

Whenever I go to family functions and see estranged cousins or great-aunts and -uncles I haven’t seen since I was a teen, almost all of them ask me how the singing is going.

I used to reply with a hint of embarrassment, not wanting to come off as a “failure” for having given up. Some will smile and nod politely, while others will cross lines and insist that I’m making a big mistake by not “pursuing my dream.” But I know I’m not making a mistake, because being an opera singer isn’t my dream anymore. I did love to sing at one point, and I’ll of course always love opera, but I never had the personality to make it as a divo. I’m much too neurotic and self-conscious to lead a life in the spotlight.

Maybe that’s my own problem, but for now I’m much happier working behind-the-scenes on my computer.

It’s insane how many life revelations I had in my 15-minute, boozed-up conversation with Lynne during intermission. Though she may be a little sad that her most eager student is no longer pursuing a performance career, she’s still so proud of where I’ve ended up, in the way a mother is proud of her son. Even though I didn’t make it as singer, she told me that she’s glad I’ve maintained an interest in the art. And I am too. Regardless of the pressure we as young adults face to make critical decisions early, it’s never too late to change things up. I promise.

Arya Roshanian is a “senior” majoring in music. His column, “From The Top,” runs Tuesdays.