Piece of Mind: How to maintain resilience through the coronavirus
Resilience is defined by Merriam-Webster as the “ability to recover or adjust easily to misfortune or change.” While vague, this seemingly basic definition gives us a window into the idea that hardships fundamentally change who we are — if not how we act and react — as members of society. In every sense of the word, resilience is a pretty sought-after personality trait and is generally seen as a sign of strength.
If we take a bit of a deeper look though, we notice that resilience in humans is almost always a result of some sort of psychological adversity. It’s almost as if it is seen as a token of trauma, which isn’t always the case; hardship does not necessarily breed resilience. Rather, resilience is more commonly built through hindsight and fostered in childhood. Yet, there’s only so much that teaching resilience can do as tribulation is often a test of resilience and not everyone faces affliction in childhood.
It’s fair to say that amid the spread of the coronavirus the entire world is experiencing hardship. The return to some sense of normalcy will require an understanding and fostering of resilience. This is especially true for those on the frontlines of combating the virus — healthcare professionals, grocery store workers, anyone who isn’t holed up in their home — but it is still applicable to pretty much everyone. It’s important to understand that one person’s pain does not minimize another’s while still understanding that there’s a spectrum of strife.
For a while I didn’t think of myself as a resilient person. I had experienced a good brunt of adversity as a child, but I never thought that made me resilient or strong — although my family and peers commonly professed I was on a daily basis. Truth be told, trauma didn’t make me resilient or strong — at least not directly. It made me feel vulnerable to everyone around me, and it made me feel weak.
As a result, I let my pride and desire to be viewed as neurotypical prevent me from doing what is emotionally intelligent — seeking resilience by ignoring the very brutal reality of my strife and following the status quo in academics, social life and the like. I often felt leery of confessing my need for more support or accommodations to my teachers or peers, scared of being pitied and viewed as weak. Needless to say, it not only didn’t work, but also left me feeling more defeated.
It wasn’t until I had given myself the room to properly heal, reflect and develop hindsight that I cultivated a backbone again and saw my hardships as a precursor to my resilience and strength. And I’m still working on it every day. Swallowing my pride and coming to the conclusion that my work and attitude were made worse by ignoring my sorrows was one of the best things that ever happened to my mental health, relationships with friends and family and life in general.
With that said, I don’t completely fault myself for minimizing the extent to which my pain affected me. Societal and cultural norms have a tendency to ignore mental obstacles that are a result of adversity. I’ve found that, especially in the United States, the sentiment that persists is “business as usual,” the nuances of strife often being overlooked and buried in order to keep up with the status quo. The reality of life and its circumstances do not coincide with this sentiment, though, and they certainly do not align with the true meaning of resilience. In the long-run, this attitude is more destructive than it is constructive.
Nonetheless, these unique circumstances offer a time for real constructive social change. Insight offered from words like resilience, that are so commonly thrown around in times of trial and tribulation, can especially serve us now and going forward. We will come out of this and build resilience together.
As I end this semester, I hope that my column has offered some solace to those who have been so kind as to read what I have to say. I hope that it has offered a sense of solidarity to those who often feel their mental health is easily overlooked. I hope that, together, we can continue the conversation of the importance of mental health and wellness to ultimately cultivate a community that is more sensitive to one another.
Adriana Zraly is a junior writing about mental health and well-being. Her column, “Piece of Mind,” typically ran the last Wednesday of every month.