Become a man through sports
I think that many can agree that the journey from boyhood to manhood isn’t an easy one, especially because the notion of “manhood” is such a vague and misunderstood one.
Playing sports can be a great vehicle for boys who are making the transition, but it can sometimes prove to be a great downfall.
As someone who grew up playing sports and brought up in what is known as the “locker room environment,” I used to believe that the definition of a “man” was someone with strength, stoutness and athleticism.
It was my high school lacrosse coach, a former pilot for the Navy, who first introduced me to my current view of manhood, which involves being resilient, always maintaining integrity and standing up for the person next to you.
According to one of the many definitions, a man is a person with the qualities often associated with males — qualities such as bravery, spirit and toughness.
It seems that the ability for a man to defend himself and fight is an element that arises from the “machismo culture” of strong masculine pride that surrounds athletics.
For example, take the case of the Miami Dolphins when it became public knowledge that former player Richie Incognito had been bullying the younger Jonathan Martin. Though Incognito would later be reprimanded for his despicable harassment of Martin and condemned by much of the public, Incognito could have been seen as the dominant figure in this instance and Martin was portrayed as “soft,” a trait that no man, especially a professional athlete, wants to be associated with at work.
The “man” in this situation is he who defied universal morals and Kantian ethics, and hurt a fellow human being — a concept that is difficult for many, including myself, to accept.
If this is the case, why would I want to be personified as a man in the first place? This brings up the golden question: what does manhood entail?
I couldn’t think of a more perfect individual to illustrate this journey from boyhood to manhood than the one and only Kobe Bryant, someone I can’t seem to stay away from in my columns — but for good reason.
In 1996, Bryant made the leap straight from high school to the NBA as a 17-year-old and couldn’t even sign off on his own contract with the Lakers — he needed his parents to cosign it.
Having consciously watched Bryant since around the year 2000, when I was 6-years-old and the Lakers won their first of three consecutive national titles, I’ve seen the progression of the five-time NBA champion not only as a player, but as a person.
And, I’ve been able to discover what it truly means to be a man just by watching Bryant’s demeanor and success on and off the basketball court.
When Bryant was younger, he was naive, immature, impulsive and arrogant. Over the years, he has burst out of his cocoon on his way to becoming a leader, coach and mentor for his teammates. Though Bryant still displays the occasional bout of impulsivity, he has, for the most part, become a well-rounded leader who has demonstrated a stretch of personal growth.
Bryant made it clear that he’s not trying to take after anyone else — namely Michael Jordan. At the end of the day, he’s just being Kobe.
“I know who I am,” Bryant said in a recent interview with GQ magazine.
Bryant recently told Ahmad Rashad in an exclusive interview with NBA TV that he’s just like everyone else when Rashad asked “Who is Kobe Bryant?”
“I’m outgoing, sometimes. I’m private in others. Talkative in some situations. Quiet in some situations. I’m arrogant sometimes, I’m an outgoing person with people that I know,” Bryant said.
That’s when I realized that in order to make that painful succession from boy to man, you just have to be yourself. It’s just that simple.
I couldn’t agree more with the notions that Bryant promotes here, which resonates with legendary UCLA men’s basketball coach John Wooden’s two favorite words in the English language: love and balance. It’s important to be passionate about the things that you do, but it’s just as imperative to make sure that you stay sophisticated and keep everyone on their feet when it comes to communicating with you.
Now, how does this tie back to being a man?
This just goes to show that one doesn’t need to be a tough and intimidating guy or run a Fortune 500 company to be seen as a man. One just has to have a set of morals, ethics and personality traits that you stand by. In other words, you just need to practice what you preach.
I think this idea is actually the toughest for males to grasp, and it takes time like in the case of Bryant, who opted not to go to college so he was faced with the burden of growing up at an exponential rate.
There’s no doubt that the environment of professional sports helps expedite that process.
Many of us, however, are fortunate enough to get at least four additional years to advance our morals and ethics on the way to becoming a man.
Nonetheless, the popular conception of manhood, one that tramples on morals and is prevalent within sports, is a topic worth pondering and conversation worth having.
Darian Nourian is a junior majoring in print and digital journalism. He is also the sports editor of the Daily Trojan. His column, “Persian Persuasion,” runs Thursdays.