Daniel Packard, dating expert and “social acupuncturist,” said that the goal of his show was to “answer the WTFs? of life” — mainly, why relationships between men and women can seem so right sometimes and so wrong a few minutes later.
On Wednesday night, Packard launched headfirst into gender differences and was quick to highlight the glaring differences between men and women. Packard explained how men are “hunter-humpers,” who are relatively simple, stay in the present, and are fun-seeking. However, when it comes to the dating game, men are at a vast disadvantage.
Using fun and effective group exercises, Packard began to show the “female members of the audience how their quick judgments of men (“he’s an asshole,” “he’s creepy” and “he’s a jerk,” for example) were actually preventing them from meeting many great men who were waiting from them out there. These men just need a little help in getting things started.
Packard was quick to point out that many men have done terrible things to women and acted like complete idiots, even orchestrating a group apology from the handful of male audience members. With his foundation set, Packard discussed what he sees as a big root of the problem between men and women.
Using a hilarious role-play (a female audience member played a man, Packard played a woman in the club), Packard demonstrated many of the contradictions that men must navigate when trying to meet a woman. The female audience member was instructed to attempt to start a conversation with Packard, but every response prompted a rejection. Packard told the woman to make him feel sexy, but when the woman started he called her a creep. When the woman tried to act disinterested, Packard called her a jerk for not being interested, and wondered why the woman wasn’t appreciating the hours he’d spent getting ready.
Ending this segment with a short clip from the music video of Baby Got Back (in which Sir Mixalot actually dances on top of an enormous butt), Packard demonstrated the double-standard men must face.
“If a woman wants more attention, she can wear a tighter shirt,” Packard said. “If a man wants more attention, he has to start a band.”
Packard explained that, with women quick to judge and reject guys on almost arbitrary grounds, men are being scared into not knowing how to act like men anymore. Packard even asked the women in the audience how many of them had forgotten that men have feelings, and about 60 to 70 percent of women in attendance raised their hands.
“We don’t often give a lot of compassion to guys,” he said.
Waiting around for Prince Charming to come save you, Packard explained, causes women to put their sense of self into the hands of other people. When Prince Charming doesn’t appear, women are quick to blame men for their problems, rather than taking an honest look at themselves.
“Some of the judgment you dump on guys is your own issues,” Packard stated.
Women get caught in a cycle of complaining and affirming each other’s complaining that is toxic, unproductive, and resolves nothing.
“Less complaining and more smiling would benefit everyone on the planet,” Packard said. “If you can be kinder to [men], we can be stronger.”
Packard even mentioned the idea of karma.
“When you’re cruel to us, when you objectify us, karmically it comes back to you,” Packard added.
But the real solution comes through one’s sense of self.
“When we know who we are we care a lot less about what other people think,” Packard said.
A strong, self-assured sense of self creates stronger women and stronger women. And when women are kind and open, it’s much easier for men to just be men.
“Love is the reward for getting our shit together,” Packard concluded.