We’ve all seen the scare-tactic videos that warn people against “out-of-control” rave dances: Grainy footage taken from a small camera hidden in a bag, blurred-out faces of teenagers in an underground cave somewhere in the middle of God-knows-where, doing drugs to the point of death, strobe lights flashing and sex happening right in the middle of the dance floor.

This is what I thought a rave was. You know, a bunch of weird, bored kids listening to weird music doing weird things and, by the looks of their sweat, smelling very weird. Upon moving to Los Angeles, however, I soon found out that those old videos are just plain wrong. Now, I can’t vouch for how raves are in other places — they very well could be just like the ones depicted in those videos. But, the ones out here are quite simply some of the best events that anyone could possibly go to.

I promise I’m not a “raver:” Trust me, I know those people who are professional ravers, who pick out their outfits months in advance, who think that Beyond Wonderland is actually the start of the new year. I am not that person. I am, however, a girl who got hooked on raves for two reasons: The music and, of course, the fashion.

You might have guessed by now that since this is a fashion column, I’m just going to skip over describing how good the music is. But, take my advice: Spend a few minutes downloading some Crookers, Skrillex, Tommy Trash and, my personal favorite, Major Lazer.

More significantly, this Saturday, the farewell tour of Swedish House Mafia comes to Los Angeles State Historic Park. When my mom asked what that meant, I told her it was as if Barry Manilow decided to go on a goodbye tour. Swedish House Mafia is God for a large number of electronic dance music fans, just like Barry Manilow is … whatever he is for middle-aged women.

If you ask around campus, I’d go out on a limb here and say that an insane amount of people are going. This might turn out to be the event of the year. This will be the night that USC students cause Instagram to crash. If you haven’t purchased your ticket yet, don’t worry — there are still some available on Stubhub for a cool $200.

Now you’ve got your ticket and, hopefully, a basic knowledge of the music. So what do you wear? You’ve seen the photos: Sparkly bras, thongs, furry boots, weird-but-awesome panda hats. Remember that line about “professional ravers”? If you see any of the above, then you know who you’re dealing with.

There are two reasons why I don’t wear just a bra to raves. First of all, sh-t gets sweaty. And the last thing I want is to rub up against that random sweaty — and shirtless — guy trying to do the shuffle even though there are literally thousands of people packed up against him. Second of all, I know I don’t have a six-pack, and it should be a general rule that you can’t wear solely a bra and thong in public unless your body resembles that of Kate Upton. Sorry to break it to you, but it’s not a cute look.

Keep the theme in mind, however. HARD Haunted Mansion is always Halloween themed, so you’ll see lots of costumes and Day of the Dead makeup. Swedish House Mafia’s last tour is masquerade-themed, so you can expect to see some pretty cool masks picked up for 99 cents in the fashion district. Gather your friends together and do something as a group.

You also want to make sure that your outfit matches the event in terms of its scale. Escape From Wonderland, held in San Bernadino with haunted mansions, several stages and a laundry list of top-notch DJs? Go all out. Crookers in the small, indoor Santa Ana Observatory? No, you’re not allowed to wear nipple tassels. You don’t want to be that person who’s overdressed — or underdressed. Wearing what you want is fine, but just make sure that the outfit matches the occasion.

The most important thing, however, is to make sure that your outfit is as comfortable as can be. Though neon tanks are apparently all the rage, it should be a general life rule that guys can only wear white or black tanks to raves because, let’s face it, you get sweaty and you don’t want it to show. I’d also stick to jeans: I once saw a guy in a head-to-toe leotard, and I’m sure he regretted it later.

If you’re not one to run to the bedazzled bra section of Victoria’s Secret just for a concert, I suggest a simple uniform of a cute, but comfortable shirt — and one that you don’t mind getting possibly ruined. Closed-toe shoes are also a must: Sure, you might think that sandals are cute, but you won’t when your toenails pop off from someone “accidentally” jumping up and down on them. And make sure that your purse/fanny pack is hands-free. I’d suggest a crossbody type to make it easier to dance. You’re going to be standing for hours — make sure that your clothes are the last thing you’re worrying about.

My sister once asked me why I liked raves, and my response was pretty simple: They always feature a sense of community, of passion, of excitement. Yes, raves are about the music, but let’s be real here: the process of dressing up is just as important. Clothes are an expression of who we are as dance fans and it’s our duty to be as creative as we can be. Have you ever heard of a boring raver?
No? Exactly.

This is your chance to show your true colors. Anything that you’re afraid of in your “everyday” life could be transformative in your nightlife. Even if you decide to go the bra-and-thong route, no one will judge you. Everyone’s there for one reason: to listen to music and to have a great time. No one’s there to hate on you — for once, it’s all about peace, love and happiness.

So take out your best angel wings, find your best frat hat and get ready to party as soon as the beat drops.

Sheridan Watson is a junior majoring in Critical Studies. Her column “A Stitch In Time” runs Tuesdays.