Ask Hecuba: Lonely in Leavey

Hecuba, how do I get a boyfriend?

— Lonely in Leavey


Dear Lonely,


Although you’re feeling lonely, I can assure you that you’re not alone in this situation. For the many of us who aren’t Helen of Troy, countless hours have been spent pondering the ancient questions of when and where we’ll find love.


I must admit, additional context and information about you would have been quite helpful for me to answer this question with an answer tailored to you. (Are you a boy or girl? Do you have somebody special in mind? Your personal hygiene is good, I presume? Why do you want a boyfriend?) However, I’ll give this my best shot and try to keep things general.


If you’re looking for a relationship, you’ll need to put yourself in a position to meet someone. Join clubs on campus to meet others with similar interests as you, strike up conversations with friendly classmates in your GE classes, and don’t be afraid to ask the lucky fellow who catches your eye if he wants to get some lemonade with you in between classes. In my youth, it was an exciting day when a new portrait painting passed through town that we could admire and review — I’ve heard from friends that Bumble and Tinder are quite similar to this. (Artists often took creative liberties with the portraits they painted, too.)


Secondly, one must be lovable. What constitutes as “lovable” widely varies, of course, so I have just one suggestion on this: Be the type of person that you would fall in love with. Read books about things you think are interesting for the sole reason of enjoying it, go learn a skill that you always admired others for having, or find ways to make a difference for a cause you care about. At the end of this, even if you haven’t caught somebody’s eye, you’ll be a better person anyways!


Ultimately, however, not everyone meets their person in college. And really, what are the odds that in the entire universe, the one person that is the best fit for you got the right SAT scores, was accepted by a panel to be granted admittance to USC, ponied up the big bucks to enroll here and then met you? Being in a relationship in college can be great, but you also have the rest of your life for that, too.


L, I hope this helps and please keep us updated on your relationship status!






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