The first episode of the first season (sans Paula) aired last night and in between laying out pages and sending for finals, I managed to catch a glimpse of the first of several always-infamous audition episodes. Starting with the Boston tryouts, the Idol team (which featured Posh Spice as a pre-Ellen guest judge) sat in a room and rained self-esteem addling comments upon thousands of pitiful wannabes.
Filled with obligatory anime freaks, delusional weirdos and hilarious renditions of songs that are beyond the range of the attempting singers, the ninth season’s inaugural episode didn’t offer anything different than the last eight seasons of laughable rejects. And the chosen few seemed to parody some of the marketable stereotypes from previous seasons.
Ashley Rodriguez (aka Ashley Makailah) seems primed to be the attractive big-toothed ethnic girl, a role previously fulfilled by Diana DeGarmo in season 3 and in season 6 by both Jordin Sparks and Sanjaya (lol).
And Tyler Grady, who came out wearing bell-bottoms and a polyester long-sleeved shirt, could easily be any of a multitude of shaggy-haired classic rock-inspired dudes from previous seasons (see season 5’s Ace Young and Bucky Covington). I even called out his Mick Jagger swagger before they played “Jumpin’ Jack Flash” over his exit.
Maybe they’ll force him to team up with The Stones like Bo Bice or stage an impromptu show with Lynyrd Skynyrd…
The audition episodes continue tonight with Atlanta. Hilarity ensues.