Ask Tiffany: Am I out of his League?


Cristina Gomez | Daily Trojan

Cristina Gomez | Daily Trojan

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Dear Tiffany,

My boyfriend and I have been together for five years. The relationship is stable, and I’m sure he loves me. But the thing is, he doesn’t really a goal in life and he is in his mid-twenties. He works during the day (service industry) and plays League of Legends at night. He’s not pursuing a college education. While I have tried relentlessly to help him find his passion, he turns down every possible career path or education opportunity that I have devised for him. Now that I’m at USC, I couldn’t help but wonder if I could explore some other possibilities, or just live carefree without any so-called restrictions. I just don’t know what to do.

Thank you,

Confused girl

Your boyfriend could have an epiphany about his professional calling tomorrow, or he might never have one. He is entitled to live his life however he chooses even if it doesn’t live up to others’ expectations of what a 20-something should be doing. Though you are coming from a place of love when trying to stoke some grand ambitions, unfortunately, you can’t coerce someone into developing a passion.

When you have spent five years with someone you love, it can be difficult to come to terms with the fact that it’s coming to an end. But if you find yourself wondering seriously about “other possibilities,” that’s a sign you’re ready to move on. Unless you can resolve your concerns about his lack of direction and let him figure it all out himself, he will never be good enough with his gaming and complacency hanging over your head. If this is the case, then it is unfair to both of you to continue this relationship.

Tiffany Kuan is a senior majoring in business administration. Her blog advice column, Ask Tiffany, runs every Monday.

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