I haven’t had a crush on anyone in like, centuries. But there’s this one guy at work that I’m stupid hung up on. We don’t work the same shift, I’ve only run into him a few times, and we barely know each other. How can I find an excuse to talk to him? We aren’t even friends on Facebook!
You don’t need an excuse to talk to him! Take him down from this pedestal he doesn’t yet deserve to be on. I know it’s hard, but imagine how you would behave if you were not infatuated with him. If he were just some guy you wanted to befriend, you’d probably add him on Facebook and not think anything of it. You might even casually bring up getting coffee or having a study sesh together sometime. Worst case scenario, he doesn’t accept your friend request or deflects your suggestion to hang out. Act like it’s no biggie, and either way he responds you just come off like a friendly, confident, cool-as-a-cucumber person. Win-win, baby.
If you think I’m setting you up to come on too strong, just know that it’s easy to become hypersensitive to the nuances of every interaction in situations like these. Science has shown that in 99 percent of cases involving one-sided adoration, the other person is not reading into everything as much as you are. (Statistical analysis from personal experience.) And also, know that this type of casual idolatry is dangerous. All I’m saying is, he might seem great from afar, but after you hang out you could unearth some real deal breakers. He might be insufferably vapid. His favorite musical artist might be a really sh-tty DJ. He might even support the tyrannical rise of Donald Trump (in which case, he should be written off immediately).
Tiffany Kuan is a senior majoring in business administration. Her blog advice column, Ask Tiffany, runs every Monday.
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