A mutual understanding is necessary in attraction

My first college party was a complete mess. Coming to college from Australia, I had no idea what a “frat” was. At 18, most of us had under-aged partied ourselves out by 15. So, here I was at my first college party, having an absolutely awesome time. During the first month of school, everything was really new, and I made many friendships with people of different backgrounds. “College was a great, innocent environment!” or so I thought at the time.

I was happily chilling by the entrance to this frat party when this girl came up to me and asked, “Hey boy, do you wanna dance?”

“Of course,” I replied excitedly. “I love dancing.”

She turned around and abruptly took my hand, guiding me through the busy room. “Oh, how nice of her to hold my hand. This must be an American thing,” I thought to myself. These people are so friendly and nice.

I was so naïve. Before I knew it, I was backed up against the wall — cornered in this college frat party, a posterior anchored to my groin. What’s going on? This is not what I meant by dancing!

My fraternity brothers came over to the hot mess that I was, pinned to the wall with a behind pushing against me as it continually stepped on this infamous gas pedal. I waved my arms at my saviors, but rather than grab my hand and pull me out, they cheered me on and high-fived me instead.

“Ayyyyyy Sammy the Aussie — get it, mate!” he said.

One-sided grinding. Definitely not a fun time.

Now, as an upperclassman, I thought that the days of awkward one-sided grinding at frat parties were way behind me. However, as I look deeper into my life as a Trojan, I have begun to notice myself and so many other Trojans continuing to engage in this one-sided grind on other people. Yes, people have been caught grinding in the new Marshall building.

My eyes were burned after being a witness of this. I’m just kidding; I don’t mean it literally. When I say that I see people still one-sided grinding, I mean that I see people at USC engaging in the spirit of the one-sided grind, which is the act of offering friendship or time or effort for people who do not feel the same way.

It takes two to tango — well, for the purposes of this metaphor — grind. However, USC is filled with one-sided grinders! From the days we have set foot on this campus, we have been indoctrinated with this network is the best work dogma of USC. “USC’s not about the grades you make, but it’s about the hands you shake,” I’ve been told time and time again. I think that this make-all-the-friends-you-can is applicable to a lot of colleges, but I think that particularly at USC, it’s even more prevalent.

The symptoms of a one-sided grinder are far and wide. To list a few: bumping into people and saying goodbye to them with “Oh my gosh, I’ve missed you so much, we have to catch up,” followed by no follow-up because you’ve said the same thing to seven other people today and you forgot who you’ve said it to; forgetting names instantly because you have insufficient processing memory; smiling at strangers, not because you’re nice, but because you can’t remember all the friends you’ve made; and my personal favorite, the pigeon head twitch you have going for you as you try to process all the familiar faces in a crowded area like TCC.

For a lot of us, we’re just trying to make too many friends!

Now don’t get me wrong. Making friends is awesome. We definitely need to put love out into the world and provide positive vibes. This is not a call to selfishness and only caring for our own. However, this is a call to moderation in a college environment where many people overextend themselves. It truly breaks my heart to meet and hear stories of USC alumni that feel like they cast their nets so wide during their time at USC that the “fish” (read: friends) they were trying to catch slipped through the netting.

It can be so easy for society (read: frat bros) to pressure us to remain in uncomfortable situations (read: grinding with someone you don’t want to grind with). But it doesn’t have to be this way. If we were a little more intentional to set aside some time to invest and pour into genuine, close friendships with the people we care about. Grind with the people you know want to grind. No more one-sided grinding, please.

Samuel Sunito is a junior majoring in business administration.  His column, “Love and Other Things,” runs every other Friday.