People are more attractive when they are independent

People think my Australian accent is cool, but I think people with accents from Texas are way hotter.

There is one Southern Belle who will forever plague this love columnist’s soul. I call her the green-eyed monster.

I met this G.E.M. (green-eyed monster) at a church in Houston. last year. As she hurried in late to the church service, she walked up to me and asked me if the seat next to me was taken. “Giiiirl,” I thought, “this seat is most definitely not taken. How about you? Are you?”

Now, why is she a green-eyed monster? Well. Her eyes had this enchanting spell around them that made you feel like you were in love. I felt like I was being seen for the first time. This G.E.M. was an aromatic linguini pasta drizzled in beautiful, green pesto sauce. She had the most beautiful, deep green eyes that complemented her lightning blonde hair, and she had an illustrious shine to her personality that made her a most-prized treasure.

I somehow bamboozled my way into hanging out with her for the rest of that day. By the end of the day, I kid you not, I wasn’t even that into how hot she was, but I was way more attracted to her personality. I’m sure I’ll get many eyerolls for this, but I’m dead serious. She had this confidence and inner alignment within herself that was out of this world. Simply said, I was infatuated.

But as history has played out for this ironically single-as-the-last-Pringle love columnist, all good things must come to an end. But hey, at least it makes for fun love articles, am I right?

So I slid in the question. “Green-eyed monster, are you seeing anyone right now?”

To my surprise, the 19-year-old had just been proposed to and was now engaged. Hearing this from this G.E.M. definitely felt like that scene in Superman vs. Batman where Batman unveils his Kryptonite. I was weak.

Now friends, quick timeout. I was not weak because I felt entitled as a man to her affection. I was not weak because I felt like I had been “friend zoned” and was only talking to her so I could ‘get it’ as some childish people feel. I was weak because there was something about the way she carried herself that was so damn magnetic. Um, of course it doesn’t hurt that she was hot, but I have met many who others I would call physically attractive who are super inwardly repulsive.

But the girl had a freakin’ fiancé. What?! Why does this always happen?! So many of the women I find myself attracted to are in relationships.

And one more timeout (I don’t sport, is it even allowed to have two of them in the same game?). This is not the “Oh, you want what you can’t have” problem. I didn’t even know these women were in relationships.

And it’s also not because all of the single people out there are not good enough for attraction and all the demanded ones are taken or not available. You see, I have seen marked shifts in the way the same people hold themselves when they are out of relationships. And these are huge generalizations I know, but within the bell-curve of intuitive qualitative pattern recognition us NF’s on the MBTI are cursed with — I mean, gifted — I find an interesting observation that all can benefit from: people who try to attract others by denying themselves are not that attractive.

I think this makes so much sense. People already in relationships and people who don’t feel like they need someone else are more comfortable being themselves. And that is so much more magnetic than the tumbleweed following wherever the wind goes.

Picture a person being told, “I hate rap music.” A person who is too accommodating and wanting to please others will probably respond, “well, I guess there are some songs in the genre I don’t really like all the time. But a person who is centered on who they are is quick to reply, “Woah. You are so wrong for feeling that way. Let me show you some epic tunes.”

Which do you think would be more attractive, all held equal?

So friends, when you are out there on the prowl and you got a boo in your sights, rather than try to be who you think they want you to be, find your specific edge and shout it freakin’ loud. Find your center and don’t try to fit the mold because you’ll end up being a boring and unattractive individual. Trust me. And before you know it, who knows, maybe you’ll have people calling you their [insert color here]-eyed monster.

This is pretty obvious. But it’s not observed. We all know this to be true deep down, but we don’t do it. So let’s do it.

UPDATE: G.E.M. is no longer engaged. Yo boy ready to slide into them DMs after an appropriate amount of time. Till next-next week, friends. Bye!

Samuel Sunito is a junior majoring in business administration.  His column, “Love and Other Things,” runs every other Friday.