False assumptions can cut both ways

I bring this article to you after weeks of procrastination, because every time I forced myself to sit in front of my laptop, I wrote, rewrote and then deleted each sentence. I was gripped with the fear that my words would be mistaken for snobbishness. But today, a 2 a.m. epiphany made me realize that’s the very point of writing this piece: We often unconsciously make assumptions about people from other cultures, backgrounds and countries without realizing that what we believe to be true in one region is, in fact, far from it in another.

When I did my own laundry for the first time at USC, I wasn’t sure what the precise steps would be (yes, don’t worry, I now know how to do laundry — except for the rare occasions I anxiously call my mom up in the middle of the night so I don’t ruin my new pants). Now, some of you, similar to some of my American friends, may immediately assume that I am yet another one of those pampered children who has given USC its reputation of housing spoiled brats. But, in reality, I come from India, an overpopulated country with a lot of affordable domestic labor, where the norm is for everyone to have help to do the chores. So, unlike the United States, where only the top income bracket can pay for these services, in India, it’s more accessible.

While my fellow Indian friends know this — and could empathize with my struggle of doing laundry for the first time — others often didn’t understand. If I ever brought up how doing my own chores is a relatively new experience for me, people often gave me confused glances, raised eyebrows or amused smiles. While I am sure my friends would understand if I gave them the context I provide here, it can be tedious and exhausting to explain this to everyone I meet.

So eventually, tired of receiving side-eyes and fearing embarrassment or judgment, I tiptoed around talking about life back home. I didn’t even bother correcting people’s wrong assumptions — in hindsight, I wish I had.

But making assumptions isn’t a one-way street. I also realized that I arrived at USC with countless presuppositions, the majority of which proved to be wrong. Having always heard about “America’s booming economy,” I assumed that all those who attend a private school like USC — nicknamed the “University of Spoiled Children” — would come from wealth.

While there are students who vacation on yachts and sip champagne — the names of which I can’t even pronounce — to my surprise, a lot of the students I have met on campus are either on full rides, financial aid or student loans. While I am lucky that my parents were able to finance my education, there are other students who don’t have the same luxury, and I am in awe of them and the hard work they put in. But at the same time, I am also ashamed that, despite experiencing the negative repercussions of people making incorrect assumptions about others first hand, I repeated the same mistake.

As I grapple with this, I remind myself that making assumptions is a common error when people move abroad and interact with a diverse group of people for the first time. This behavior can’t be corrected at the drop of a hat, because change takes time. So, as long as I make a conscious effort to prevent these unfounded preconceptions from impacting my actions, I am taking a step in the right direction. At the dire risk of sounding preachy, I encourage you to do the same.