When I imagined my first month at USC, I pictured attending interesting classes, meeting new people, attending parties and so on. I didn’t imagine fainting, clothed only in my bathrobe, while my roommate frantically tried waking me up or first responders insisting they take me to the hospital in a loud, red and attention-grabbing fire truck. And I definitely didn’t imagine the $921.86 bill afterward. 

I am very grateful that my roommate sacrificed her Sunday to accompany me to the emergency room and waited patiently while I was checked and probed with a needle. I was extremely lucky, but the truth is that not a lot of international students or those whose families live far away are blessed with someone who is practically a stranger to take care of them. 

Most often, when hardships come around the corner, even though we crave to retreat into the comforting embrace of our parents, we don’t have any other option but to face it on our own. While my parents offered to drop everything and take the next flights out — yes, plural because there is no direct flight from Mumbai to Los Angeles — it would have taken them more than 24 hours to reach me. 

In a state of emergency, when their daughter is being rushed to the hospital within weeks of her moving abroad, arriving a day later wouldn’t have been much help. More than the loneliness I felt, I can only imagine how helpless my parents must have felt. 

When stuff like this bothers me, I use my expert abilities in the French language — and by that I mean only one phrase, the pronunciation of which I always butcher — to reassure myself by saying “c’est la vie.” Because that is the life of an international or an out-of-state student, and I can’t help it. We don’t always have close family here, so friends must suffice. 

Post-hospital visit, I was often gripped with this fear that in times of need, I will be all alone, with no support system. I was so scared of falling that I started taking medicine at even a hint of any form of sickness. I had never been to a hospital alone, and the experience left me perpetually anxious about my health.

Maybe international students gravitate toward other international students because subconsciously they know that they can all relate to the struggle of not having family around during emergencies — and to the pivotal role friends must play at those times. 

While 99.99% of me is extremely happy for my American friends who can go home for the weekend and Thanksgiving break or whose parents fly in for parents weekend, that 0.01% of me is also envious. Many of them can have faith that if anything goes south, their parents will make it in time to sort it out because they are so close by.

Despite really wanting to, I can’t end this piece with the cliche “Don’t be scared, you got this.” In fact, international students have every reason to be scared. So instead of pretending that this fear will disappear overnight, we need to find ways to deal with it. 

Perhaps, one day I’ll be able to go to a hospital alone and ask the doctors the right questions and take care of myself. But I don’t think anyone should have to do that alone. Friends can be a great support system, more so when family isn’t around. So hopefully, instead of dealing with the healthcare system on our own, we can rely on friends who we trust, who will be there when we need them — and who hopefully have a car so we don’t have to pay for an ambulance.