This probably goes against everything you’ve ever heard in a career advisement meeting, but I’m tired of being the always-eager, always-on-call, always-says-yes student employee. 

I quit a job recently for a couple of reasons: My responsibilities abruptly increased (with no pay raise), my supervisor assigned tasks outside the scope of my job (a canon event) and I felt that I no longer had enough time in my schedule to handle the rest of my workload. My last straw, however, was when I had a meeting with my supervisor.

They told me, “I don’t really see you as a student worker, I see you as part of the work family.” 

While the sentiment was nice — and my supervisor’s intentions were good — I was a student worker, and I didn’t want that boundary to be erased. Contrary to what you may see in sitcoms like “The Office,” “Parks and Recreation” or “30 Rock,” work environments aren’t always like a “second family” — and frankly, they shouldn’t be. 

Don’t get me wrong — cultivating supportive relationships at work is often important for a positive work environment. The Harvard Business Review reported that employees are happier with their job when they have close friends in the workplace. However, it’s different when companies deliberately try to form a “family culture” in the workplace. A study of more than 200 startups in Silicon Valley found higher-ups specifically strived toward developing “strong family-like feelings” and “intense emotional bonds” at work to cultivate loyalty in employees to their job and company.

This idea of company loyalty becomes harmful when it results in exploitation and guilt-tripping about picking up extra tasks and working overtime. Alison Green, creator of the career advice blog Ask a Manager, told The New York Times that pushing the concept of a work family “often means that boundaries get violated and people are expected to show inappropriate amounts of commitment and loyalty, even when it’s not in their self-interest.” Employees may feel pressured to tolerate long hours, mistreatment and a lack of work-life balance because of this practice, according to Joe Pinsker of The Atlantic.

Without clear-cut working hours and responsibilities, a “family-like” workplace can quickly become anxiety-inducing. The Office of the U.S. Surgeon General recommended in its 2022 Framework for Workplace Mental Health and Well-Being that workplace leaders must “set, respect, and model clear boundaries between time on and off the job” to alleviate “anxiety or fears of missing work demands.”

I understand that some job and internship opportunities are valuable for the extra work experience, but that doesn’t mean that students should be forced to grit their teeth and accept exploitative working conditions. Increasingly, younger generation workers are prioritizing their well-being when navigating their careers; according to Microsoft’s 2022 Work Trend Index Annual Report, more than half of the millennial and Gen Z workers who quit a job named “lack of work-life balance” or “lack of flexibility” as reasons for leaving. 

I’m still grappling with how to be a good employee — and how to land a stable career post-grad — while also respecting my mental health and work-life boundaries. I’m also trying to keep Green’s advice in mind: 

“Stay really clear about the fact that it’s O.K. to look out for yourself and advocate for yourself,” Green wrote. “And know that it’s not a personal betrayal if you decide to move on.” 

These days, advocating for myself looks like communicating with supervisors when I don’t have the bandwidth for an extra task and not responding to work-related emails outside of work hours. After all, I’m a student worker, meaning that I’m a student — and a person — first.