Ron DeSantis, the gremlin-esque Republican, regularly utilizes anti-LGBTQIA+ rhetoric as a means of mobilizing voters, since he has nothing better to do. Insinuating trans people and activists don’t deserve to exist, DeSantis uses calculated, coded phrases like “defend our children” and “education over indoctrination” to pass legislation that actively makes it harder for trans people to access healthcare, which he did this summer in his humid state of Florida.  

DeSantis has been inciting culture wars on anyone who challenges his vision of America. Demanding that the United States use lethal military force at the U.S.-Mexico border, DeSantis desperately aims to rally Americans against anything other than his own ghastly frame which, by the way, definitely scares the average American child. DeSantis says they will leave drug smugglers “stone cold dead at the border.” It is unclear how DeSantis plans to distinguish drug-smugglers from immigrants. 

This strategy allows DeSantis to avoid getting into the logistics of different streams of thought, since that would be entertaining ideas created by evil. Ideas by “the criminals,” or the “woke mob,” hide outside of the so-called norm, morphing into one another to make the Woke Boogeyman. The children must be kept safe from the they/thems!

Though actively shaping public discourse, the talking points expressed by 2024 Republican candidates are hardly a timestamp of contemporary politics; they’ve been used to corral misinformed people for decades. This is because they are highly effective at funneling people to misdirect their anger, targeting other disenfranchised groups instead of the elite wealthy establishment. 

As a queer theorist and English professor at Tufts, Lee Edelman discussed the constraining mandate of futurism when it is controlled solely by the cisgender, heterosexual, reproducing population.

As Edelman says in “No Future: Queer Theory and the Death Drive,” statements expressed by United States presidential candidates are not about curating an accurate vision of what the future could possibly look like, but rather serve to “impose an ideological limit.” These limits must stray away from real threats and problems — directing everyone’s gaze at the pink-haired nonbinary that is indoctrinating children with gender-woke ideology.  

The future of civilization, which is genuinely at question even at this present moment, is then replaced by the future of “The Child.” The baby literally keeps our world together, individualistically so, since politicians like DeSantis argue for authoritarian-style parenting where they can intervene in their child’s education as the sole controllers. A collective concern, such as the future of Earth, whether it be from an already-occurring climate disaster or future nuclear war, becomes a mere distraction in Republican futurity.

This doesn’t just benefit The Child or “The Family” though. Hiding behind these figures is the truth can never be said out loud: The nuclear family isn’t about the familial unit. Rather, it’s about capitalism and our need for white, straight people to make babies so we have labor. The Child also becomes a blanket whose function is to shield voters from critical thought. Exploitation and below-par working conditions must be swept under the rug to make room for The Child. Wage slavery must be ignored, since it has nothing to do with The Family. 

The nuclear family unit draws boxes limiting where Republican candidates, like DeSantis, are willing to go ideologically. And the lines will always point toward some useless culture war that distracts and distorts.  

Arjun Bhargava is a junior inciting discourse on pop, sex, power and art. Their column, “The Girls are Gagged,” runs every other Friday.