Graduating early is anxiety-inducing

My time at USC feels like it’s running out before it’s even really gotten to begin.

By JINNY KIM
(Kristine Nguyen / Daily Trojan)

My family isn’t one for typical traditions, but there’s one thing we’ve done for almost 10 years. On Jan. 1, we kick off the new year by eating Korean instant ramen for lunch while discussing resolutions for ourselves and each other. My past resolutions for myself have ranged from “grow four inches taller” (I was 10 years old) to “do homework first and the fun stuff later” (I had discovered the concept of procrastination). 

My 2024 resolution is a little different: Make every semester at USC worth it.

Last summer, after completing my first year of university, I made the decision to stay at USC and graduate a year early to save a few semesters’ worth of tuition, rather than transfer to a school that offered better financial aid. My reasoning was relatively simple; I had adjusted pretty well to USC, quickly finding a community of incredible friends while also being academically fulfilled and challenged. I told myself (and my parents) that staying at USC would be worth it. Even if I have to take 18 units every semester to finish my degree by May 2025 — and sacrifice one year of the so-called “best four years of my life” — it would be worth it. 

But it turns out saying you’ll graduate early and actually having to do it are two completely different things. Mentally, I still feel like a freshman. In reality, I’m graduating next year — if everything goes according to plan. My anxiety has been building, to say the least. 

In total, I’ll only spend five semesters at USC, since I entered as a spring admit. Call it overthinking, but every new semester feels like it holds so much more weight than it probably should. Naturally, that also comes with regret about previous semesters. Why didn’t I take advantage of more school resources in my first semester? Why didn’t I connect with more professors? Why didn’t I apply for more internships last year to rack up experience to add to my LinkedIn? 

When I went home this Thanksgiving break, my dad asked me about the status of my internship applications, noting that 2024 will be my last opportunity to have a summer internship as an undergraduate student. He didn’t say it to pressure me, but inside, my self-frustration morphed into anger. It’s not like I don’t already know that, I thought. And I’ve been trying my best. Someone else reminding me of my limited remaining time as an undergraduate student just felt like salt being rubbed in a wound. 

I know everyone feels this way to some extent, but the uncertainty still looms over me. Life after college is supposed to be the “real world.” I certainly don’t feel prepared for that now, and I’m not sure if I will next year, either. 

But I don’t want to hold myself back with unrealistic expectations for post-grad life. Not to state the obvious, but life doesn’t end at graduation. I shouldn’t expect myself to have the next 15 years of my life meticulously planned and set by the time I graduate. 

Which brings me back to my New Year’s resolution: Make every semester at USC worth it. I may not be able to predict exactly where I’ll be a year from now, but I can continue to do work I can be proud of and push myself to say “yes” to opportunities. I’m incredibly lucky to even be able to pursue higher education at an institution like USC — I don’t want to waste my remaining time here by worrying about semesters that haven’t even happened yet.

Alas, I’m writing this right now as a break between cranking out cover letters for summer internship applications. Hopefully, I’ll have submitted more by the time this is published. Hopefully, I’ll secure an internship, period.

But all I can really do is put effort into the things that are in my control, and hope for the best for the things that aren’t. Not every decision has to be made tonight. I have time.

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