My hands quiver over my keyboard as I type, my heart racing to beat the deadline. I quickly accept all my suggestions from my Grammarly tool, writing on autopilot, fueled by adrenaline. Once I submitted this article draft, I slammed my laptop shut with a sigh of relief.

Before this moment, I was overflowing with excitement to start. Yet, as I sat down to write, I found myself overwhelmed by my ideas and went blank, pushing the task off day-by-day until the deadline loomed dangerously close.

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I don’t procrastinate because my task is boring; I find motivation in working under pressure, as it unlocks a natural sensation of flow. The fear of starting can be paralyzing, even when one desires to engage with the task at hand.

Curious about the psychological roots of procrastination, I consulted Helena Seli, professor of clinical education and author of “Motivation and Learning Strategies for College Success: A Focus on Self-Regulated Learning.”

“Perfectionism, fear and procrastination are often just two sides of the same coin,” she said.

The essence of procrastination is not just a matter of poor time management, but is deeply intertwined with our fear of failure as a demonstration of lack of ability.

Professor Seli articulates the fear that fuels procrastination: “‘The world’s going to find out that I’m not as smart as I thought I was, as smart as my parents always told me I was.” 

My lack of experience with rejection, combined with impostor syndrome, drives my avoidance to maintain my high self-perception. This fear triggers a self-destructive cycle, overshadowing the drive to succeed, affecting self-esteem and productivity. When only a fraction of the time given is spent producing, a very crappy, sub-par product gets created, providing an out for criticism.

Extreme procrastination can negatively affect our self-confidence. Sarah Mesle, an associate professor of writing, described her self-destructive actions when she was struggling with her extreme avoidance to be “suffering.”

Avoidance at its most extreme risks missing out on important self-enriching events — going out with friends, practicing our hobbies or indulging in self-care. We potentially deprive ourselves of enjoyment as a punishment for our behavior.

“[When I couldn’t write] all I did was sit around and be miserable for six hours, but I did suffer. After a while, that just becomes your way of understanding yourself,” Mesle explained.

When worthiness is intertwined with work, self-loathing emerges at the most extreme level of avoidance. I despise myself for disappointing others by not meeting deadlines, for not producing my best work, and most importantly, for not being good enough to accomplish everything expected of me.

Practicing self-regulation and independence feels like an impossible skill to learn and rather an innate skill one should already know. 

Professor Seli notes, “I think, in some ways, the pandemic shifted students, perhaps too early, into a self-regulated space, and probably brought about some bad habits like, ‘Oh, I’ll do it later.'”

Julie Loppacher, director of the Kortschak Center for Learning and Creativity, observes a common misconception among students transitioning to college, explaining that they often expect the academic environment to be an extension of high school.

The structure, volume and pace of work assigned are different, and there is a higher expectation of independence when it comes to your coursework. When the strategies that worked previously are no longer sufficient, we falter and find ourselves adrift, searching for new habits to adopt.

She further notes the importance of self-advocacy in this new chapter: “Part of coming into college is learning to be your own advocate and taking ownership of your learning, more so than in high school.”

Beyond personal struggles, societal expectations of productivity and inherent intelligence add pressure, making avoidant behaviors more appealing as a defense mechanism against potential judgment or shame. 

“What makes you feel brave is to believe that you are worthy. So any structure that creates shame or judgment, for me, makes avoidance worse,” Mesle added. Her personal experience with extreme avoidance highlights the systemic emotional dimensions of procrastination.

Overcoming procrastination requires a blend of self-awareness and strategic support. Engaging in metacognition to assess whether our actions align with our goals and understanding external motivators are vital steps. At the Kortschak Center, resources like individual coaching offer personalized strategies to tackle false procrastination beliefs. 

Navigating academic responsibilities in the post-pandemic landscape, particularly at an institution as demanding as USC, underscores the need for targeted and reflective approaches to enhance productivity and personal growth.