A survival guide for hopeless romantics
Here’s how to revive your trust in love and the USC college relationship culture.
Here’s how to revive your trust in love and the USC college relationship culture.
Do you ever walk around campus in early spring and gaze at the couples picnicking in Alumni Park, wondering if one day you may find your person? You might just have the symptoms of a “hopeless romantic,” an incurable syndrome associated with eternal romantic optimism — yet very few lessons learned.
I used to uphold a strong faith in destiny until I became aware of USC’s rampant lack of seriousness for long-term relationships. Not to sound overly cynical, but the questionable reputation of our school gradually transformed me into the opposite of wearing rose-colored glasses. My defensiveness taught me to become extra vigilant toward every initial interaction with a potential prospect. My lack of trust translated to the self-labeling of a “cautionary realist.”
The rational explanations I issued above stem from my distaste for naive, false hope. I even tried to convince my friends that we should fill up our Google Calendars with meetings and events because we are too busy being careerists to waste time on nonsensical romantic gestures.
Indeed, it may be easy to escape into constant work and maintain professional connections instead of personal relationships, but such stubborn toughness leaves an emotional emptiness that is impossible to fulfill; otherwise, we venture into the glamorized “casual dating” culture, operating on a stone-cold mechanism that ruins our faith in commitment and monogamy.
Beneath the surface of being a socially active institution, I contend that the deeper reason for our loneliness stems from an apathetic attitude from decision fatigue. According to multiple studies featured in USC Today’s Science/Technology section, young people are more inclined to “gamify” their romantic encounters, enjoying “choice overload” without confronting repercussions.
Truthfully, as early 20’s college students living in Los Angeles, we are often conditioned to believe maintaining multiple options with little attachment is more sustainable than committing to a singular lost cause — but what if such decisions open up bigger voids that consume self-gratification and genuine emotions?
Love at USC comes from all the most unexpected places, and there is nothing you can do but surrender to the power of these unforeseeable connections. It may be someone sitting next to you in a giant lecture hall whom you’ve never spoken to until you bump into them at a random house party; it may be the person living down the hall in your freshman dorm who patiently waited with you when you got locked out of your room at 2 a.m.
In these unlikely moments, you find that these magical sparks provide a sense of relief from your burdensome schoolwork. You begin to wish you could spend more time with them beyond your limited overlaps, so the intersections of your circles grow until you formally become an important aspect of each other’s daily lives.
Even when we find the dating culture here to be rooted in physical attraction and fast-moving cycles, there is still hope to alleviate people’s apathetic treatments of love with a hint of affection and care. In difficult times of anguish, anxiety and stress, it can be helpful to know that there is one person who will unconditionally support you through the ebbs and flows of your college career.
Therefore, even if your papers are far from finished and group projects are still lingering on your mind, you should take some time to lean into your hopeless romantic side. Consider servicing yourself with a date that is more than “let’s grab a quick dinner at the dining hall” but a serious few hours spent on soul-to-soul exchanges. Out of all the possible spots, the long line for the made-to-order station is not the place for enchanting conversations.
With the heightened stakes of performative relationships on social media, we are conditioned to fall into an all-or-nothing mindset and expect perfection out of a person or absolutely nothing. However, similar to the principles of economics, love comes in moderation — and should be handled with careful cultivation and patience.
Although I have not yet arrived at a concrete conclusion about the intricacy of the “invisible string,” I know for certain we should be a little more forgiving toward our hopeless romantic selves as we are still learning to navigate the twisted landscape of love at USC. Looking into the unknowable alignments in the universe, our idealistic views are not hindrances but legitimate proof that we will find our person when we are in the right place at the right time.
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