You won’t find your soulmate at EVK – or will you?

Amid fleeting crushes, how do people actually find romantic connection on campus?

By AISHA NAYLA
(Ally Marecek / Daily Trojan)

As a freshman, going to the dining hall was always an exciting feat for me. Rarely was it because of the food, but rather, the delusion of waiting in line behind someone who happened to be my type and delving into conversation while waiting for our food, falling in love in the process. Except, of course, that never happens.

One can dream, however, and not just in dining halls: classrooms, Dulce lines, Fryfts — the idea of a romantic relationship developing organically is something many long for in an era of oversaturated online dating apps.


Daily headlines, sent straight to your inbox.

Subscribe to our newsletter to keep up with the latest at and around USC.

If you’ve ever taken an Advanced Placement Psychology class, you’re probably familiar with the proximity and similarity theory. The proximity theory attributes physical closeness as a prominent role in relationship formation. In a study conducted on dormitory residents at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, researchers found that when someone lived a door away, there was a 41% chance they were listed as a close friend; as distance increased, this likelihood decreased. On this basis, you technically could meet your soulmate at Everybody’s Kitchen. 

For those of you who didn’t get along with their freshman dorm floor, I know you’re probably calling BS. That’s where the similarity theory comes in, suggesting that people are more attracted to those with similar attitudes, values, interests, among other things (or at least, the perception of this similarity) — hence, we tend to form relationships with those more similar to us.   

But where does this come into play at USC? The reality is it’s never that simple. Like most colleges, hookups and situationship culture make up the status quo. And there’s nothing wrong with that! But for those seeking to be in a committed relationship, it may feel like a dead end. So, I decided it’d be worth talking to the small handful of people who experienced otherwise.

For Eric Duran, a sophomore majoring in human biology, getting into a relationship freshman year wasn’t something on his bucket list. 

“We first met in the lounge for our freshman year building and got each other’s Snapchats. After the first time we hung out, I was like, this is definitely a one-time thing,” Duran said. “But when you’re in one building, it’s so easy to see each other. And that access kind of causes your lives to start to merge together.”

For others, however, like Lexi Rosser, a sophomore majoring in journalism, proximity was no privilege, considering that she and her boyfriend lived in the farthest apart dorms. Rather, she had Greek life and a similar upbringing to thank for their smooth sailing development. 

 “After three times of seeing him at fraternity events, he asked me out on an official date. After that, I really feel like our relationship moved quickly,” Rosser said. “A big thing that I believe in with relationships is that I think similar upbringing does matter … I think that builds a stronger connection.”

Yet for Xuan-Anh Biggs, a sophomore majoring in screenwriting, a familiar face drew her attention. While Anhhn and her boyfriend have only dated for six months, the couple knew each other through a summer camp they did in high school. 

“We were always, proximity-wise, very close. It was sort of that thing with the two strings where if they’re together for long enough, they get kind of tangled eventually, right?”

Clearly, when it comes to human relationships, things are rarely straightforward. Yet I couldn’t help but ask what advice they had for those looking for their on-campus person. 

“When you stop the expectation of ‘I have to find someone to date,’ like when I said ‘I’m done’ and just hung out with people I like, I got a long-time boyfriend,” Anh said. 

“I always tell my friends to go for the ‘nerds,’” Rosser said. “Study in spaces outside of your major. So, I say date outside of your major.”

Above all, however, I really resonated with Duran.

“If you’re a freshman, there’s so many new things you’re being introduced to here,” Duran said. “I think there’s so many other things that you can worry about or put your mind on, so don’t stress too much about being ‘cuffed.’”

Embrace the possibility of connection with an open mind, but know that navigating college and taking care of yourself is a lot in itself. Maybe one of these days, you’ll find someone who’ll get you chocolates and roses, but until then, maybe acting mysterious in your library of choice and waiting for someone to come up to you is exciting enough, and that’s okay too.

© University of Southern California/Daily Trojan. All rights reserved.