Every day in Rome, I perform an anxiety-ridden ritual. No, it’s not seeing how quickly I can knock back my espresso shot, mutter a quick grazie to the employees and shuffle out the door every morning before class — though, I do do that; I’ve actually become concerningly reliant on my daily caffè despite the short few weeks I’ve actually been here. I suppose I’m already assimilating. But I digress.

Rather, my ritual consists of climbing into my bed at night and burrowing under the covers — I need the safe space — and, hands shaking, opening the Bank of America app to check my bank account. Not even having to type “BOFA” into my app library search bar can lighten my mood during the moments leading up to witnessing the sorry state of my savings.

I consider myself a decently frugal person. In the United States, I take public transportation, save my earnings and avoid eating out — Cafe Dulce doesn’t count. Though I occasionally splurge on myself throughout the year, whether it be with an expensive dinner or a new pair of shoes, I always ensure I have the budget to do so. I rarely see major fluctuations in my savings account, especially because I’m determined to always keep it at a certain threshold — probably because when I do see a huge drop, I implode in an internal panic.

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If you found the previous paragraph relatable, I’m sure you understand the unabating dread that’s been eating at me for the past three weeks. With my bank account constantly declining by the hundreds, I’ve had to learn to accept my anxiety amoeba. But I know that the money I spent was neither reckless nor impulsive, as I spent it on planning my weekendly international escapades.

You thought I was just going to stay in Italy? Girl. Though I adore my base country and plan on thoroughly enjoying and exploring everything this peninsula has to offer, I’m determined to make the most of my Schengen visa — as well as the sub-$50 round trips on Skyscanner. 

I’m sure some could spend their entire five-month stay abroad journeying within Italy, but I am no Classicist — if you wish I was one, see the previous “Notes from Abroad” author — and want to experience several facets of Europe and its history. Europe is an art and culture nerd’s paradise. It houses some of the most influential and important art, architecture and heritage in the world, so I intend to absorb as much of it as I can. 

So far, I’ve booked numerous expeditions both within and outside of Italy. In the past two weeks alone, I’ve already visited Bologna, Florence and Naples, each offering a different flavor of Italian culture and lifestyle. Bologna, a university town, is a self-proclaimed “cinephiles’ paradise,” while Florence’s art museums make the short train ride well worth the journey. Just a quick tram ride from Naples is Pompeii and a crystal-clear view of Mount Vesuvius. 

Nine international cities are booked and ready to go. Some cities I’ll spend just a day, taking in the sights — this is code for “I’ll be at the city’s most famous art gallery” — and exploring. Others, like Amsterdam and Paris, will be longer visits, given their size and my personal interest. I’m beyond excited for the adventures I’m going to embark upon this semester and am incredibly thankful to be in a place with such easy and affordable access to international travel. 

These trips didn’t book themselves, though. No, I spent weeks steeped in anxiety about getting everything figured out. I am super type A when it comes to planning. I need to be in control of the research and booking when scheduling a trip, and the anxiety about something going wrong will not leave my body until I have my butt in a plane seat, with a perfectly pristine Google Sheets itinerary ready on my laptop. 

Obviously, planning trips like this adds up. I knew this was going to be the case, and I’ve spent quite a while saving up for the hit my account would take when I finally went abroad. However, despite my planning on this money going toward travel and knowing it would be leaving my account soon, it’s still hard to make peace with seeing the numbers decrease so rapidly. 

I have to remind myself: Money will return, and experiences and opportunities like this will stay with me forever. Keeping that mindset — within reason, of course, I’m not just flippantly draining my savings — and knowing that the things I do now will shape who I am in the future has soothed my anxieties. 

Though I still perform my nightly bank account check, it’s now less out of stress and more out of responsibility; it’s nice to know just how much I have budgeted to spend on a whim. After all, I never know when I’ll stroll past an inevitable, irresistible vintage store in Rome with an adorable little knit in the window. They always know how to get me.