While scrolling through TikTok, a video of a couple will inevitably pop up on your “For You” page. The comments are lighthearted or humorously cynical for the most part. But one particular and arguably problematic comment has flashed on my radar one too many times.

 “Oxford study,” one user comments under a video of an Asian girl and her white boyfriend. But it’s not really just one user. It’s many. You can’t view a video of an Asian girl dancing with her white boyfriend or vlogging their cute date or writing about how much they appreciate their partner without pointed fingers and the dreaded mention of a study that doesn’t even exist. 

Some Asian women have even embraced the term. One Asian creator, @izzyzzyzyy, posted a TikTok slideshow captioned “they hate it when you serve Oxford study” with pictures of couples like celebrities Beabadoobee and her boyfriend, director and cinematographer Jake Erland; Vanessa Hudgens and ex-boyfriend Zac Efron; fictional characters Lara Jean (Lana Condor) and Peter Kavinsky (Noah Centineo) from “To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before” (2018); and Lane Kim (Keiko Agena) and Dave Rygalski (Adam Brody) from “Gilmore Girls.” 

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However, as an Asian woman myself, I refuse to embrace this term. In fact, I think we should reject it altogether.

The issue is that this Oxford “study” is not a study at all. The term refers to couples comprised of typically unattractive or average-looking white men and attractive Asian women. The idea was originally coined by TikTok user @lightskinbbyrei in his video claiming that the frequency of white men dating Asian women “needs a full Oxford investigation.” 

From then on, comments spiraled. An imaginary study conducted by the University of Oxford emerged, utilized as evidence that Asian women always went for white men. However, the term became less of an “inside joke” and more a part of racist discourse. 

Racism against Asian people is already extremely normalized. Stereotypes follow us like a shadow, no matter what we do and no matter where we go. Asian people are quiet, smart and submissive. We want to be doctors and engineers. We study STEM and play classical instruments. We’re SoCal Asians, or we’re ABGs. And if we date a white person, we’ve got another thing coming. 

The “Oxford study” cuts deeper than the joke it’s meant to be. It tells Asian women that they shouldn’t be allowed to date outside of their race for fear of scrutiny, judgment or being “colonized,” an ironic concept that is so old-fashioned but simultaneously so modern. This catch-22 scenario suggests that if it’s not Asian fetishization, it’s the “Oxford study.” 

This term beyond frustrates me. I already believe the Asian dating pool is small. Going for that non-Asian guy in your General Education Seminar could be risky: What if he’s secretly really into anime? Or what if he really likes Japan? Asking out that non-Asian girl in your elective class could be risky too: What if she really likes K-pop and wants to call you “oppa,” but you’re not even Korean? The pool becomes smaller. 

There’s that cute Asian guy who lives on your floor, but — uh-oh! — he only hangs out with other Asian people, and because you’re bad at using chopsticks and can’t speak any language except English very well, he thinks you’re white-washed. The pool shrinks more until it drains to nothing. 

Whether it’s finding a partner or simply making friends, I’ve noticed that Asian people are expected to associate themselves with other Asian people. These stereotypes are restricting, and it becomes even harder to breathe when people within your community are perpetuating them, too. 

The “Oxford study” is often weaponized by insecure Asian men, who are frustrated with the abundance of Asian women who date outside of their racial group. And they’re not wrong about the abundance. 

A 2021 study by Zhenchao Qian and Daniel T. Lichter found that “Nearly 15 percent of all couples are in interracial marriages, of which the overwhelming majority — nearly 90 percent — involve [white people]. Gender asymmetries in interracial unions are especially large among [Black] and Asian Americans.” But why villainize the Asian women who do it instead of the racist society that confines you?

Asian women have just as much of a right to date men outside of their race as they do men within it. And more important, we need to stop stereotyping Asian people in general. If we want to dismantle the bigger societal issue of discrimination and inequality, let’s start by rejecting a racist and demeaning term and reading an actual Oxford study.