The saying goes, “New York is the city that never sleeps.” Bragging about pulling 80-hour work weeks, investing in a start-up and single-handedly keeping Dunkin’ in business, all while being in their second year of law school, New York hustlers are seemingly superhuman. As a native New Yorker myself, I grew up surrounded by these hustlers and yearned to be one. 

Meanwhile, 2,451 miles west sits sunny Los Angeles, where suntans are even and everyone seems to know someone who is a self-proclaimed health guru. Here, the grind is almost nonexistent to the naked eye. 

Many people seem to be stress-free in their career or at least zen in their search for one. It’s important to note that this privileged lifestyle and mindset is largely found in more affluent residents and especially transplants and not the general population of native Angelenos. The experiences of these expats in L.A. have become the standard stereotype for all of L.A. due to the mass social media content pumped out by these privileged residents. 

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But don’t let the sea salt breeze and palm tree shade fool you; the L.A. grind is just as alive as it is in New York. However, there is one caveat that causes this misconception that L.A. is free of hustle culture: People in L.A. don’t ever look like they’re struggling. Everyone in L.A. knows image is everything — it doesn’t just matter how successful you become; it matters how you look while getting there.

In the city of beach blankets and surfing, you can be exhausted, but don’t look exhausted. You can be spread paper thin, but just don’t look it! In L.A., we box up our growing pains and shove them under the bed and only when we can make them sound inspirational or motivational on a LinkedIn post do we ever come face to face with them.

To New Yorkers, all-nighter eyebags, disheveled hair and being swamped are like couture uniforms. However, in L.A., showing up as anything less than pristine anywhere is a cause for concern. In L.A., the hustle and grind are curated and crafted into a perfectly presentable Instagram story and point of discussion at Belles Beach House. Here, we mask the reality of feeling overwhelmed with hiking the Eaton Canyon Trail and doing group pilates.

Almost every L.A. resident I have met who has confided in me has expressed their secret worry that they are slowly nearing a breakdown. Some deep, tousled part within them causes them to be hyper-aware of seeming zen because the scariest part of their career and personal life is being seen losing their temper, composure, physique or ambitions. 

The L.A. costume of excellence is costing us genuine connection. L.A. residents are so terrified of not looking perfect that we miss out on a sense of community. 

The truth is that figuring out life and our careers is hard. Suppressing our stress behind the Venice Run Club and oat milk lattes has created a suffering population. We have created this facade of constant happiness that any time our life doesn’t match it, we feel like we are failing. 

I believe this constant upkeep of a perfect perception forces us to lie about ourselves, which is why outsiders view those from L.A. as shallow, two-faced and obsessed with their image. 

In New York, we are sleep-deprived, overworked and overly ambitious, but most importantly, we are honest. We wear our struggles on our sleeves and bond over our overly full plates and our fear of the future. We find solace in each other, knowing that there is always someone else out there who is also on their fourth shot of espresso, just trying to reach their goals. 

New York’s work culture is in no way perfect, but it’s raw and unfiltered. Those in L.A. could benefit from taking a page from the New York playbook and standing in the truth of their emotions. 

Change and growth are uncomfortable and hard, and those in L.A. should stop denying their reality to themselves and each other. This honesty will welcome humility, but slowly, humility will turn into respect and respect will become comfort and support from a community that is constantly striving for more.

L.A. residents, the next time someone asks how you are, tell the truth. If fears are looming over you, be honest. Lying for the sake of image preservation will not get you anywhere as there will always be a piece of you hidden. Ultimately, asking for help or simply sharing a difficult piece of your week with friends or colleagues can bring back humanization to a very dehumanized community.