Last week, I entered my Mastering Decision Making class drenched in rain  and spilled coffee — holding an umbrella, coffee tumbler, breakfast and my USC ID requires more acrobatics than I would have guessed. But in the end, my ruined outfit was worth it because the next two hours planted the seed for this article.

I am jumping the gun, though. Let me provide some context: This aforementioned class was significant because we discussed the human tendency, known as “sense-making,” to rationalize events that have happened.

“As soon as something happens to someone, whether that thing is good or bad, people have a tendency to explain why it makes sense that that would have happened,” said Cheryl Wakslak, associate professor of management and organization. “From a functional perspective, what it ends up doing is often making us feel better, especially in the context of bad events.”

Daily headlines, sent straight to your inbox.

Subscribe to our newsletter to keep up with the latest at and around USC.

When Wakslak explained this concept, a classmate pointed out that sense-making is very common; after all, we all have, at some point, said, “Everything happens for a reason.” This is our brain’s way of tricking us into believing our negative experience is worth it.

I must admit that despite not being a staunch believer in fate, I have sought comfort in this age-old saying on multiple occasions. A majority of my stories about previous negative experiences end with how I wouldn’t have had another positive experience if I hadn’t suffered — like being drenched in rain and spilled coffee so I could attend the class where I learned about this. Naturally, I struggled to accept that this saying doesn’t hold true. There has to be a reason I have given myself food poisoning so many times.

This discussion led to me wondering if I was just trying to make myself feel better. Maybe getting rejected from 200 internships only to land my dream role wasn’t because I was a perfect fit for the company. Maybe Delta delaying my flight to Charleston by seven hours and giving me flight credit wasn’t because I was meant to fly to New York eight months later and bond with my aunt — Microsoft and CrowdStrike just screwed up. Maybe my ex-roommate doesn’t sit behind me in a class because I’m supposed to learn to forgive, but because we have the same minor.

It may be time for me to outsmart my brain and become realistic by accepting that sometimes shitty things happen for no reason. I may want to scream “It’s not fair,” and throw a hissy fit like a baby whose toy has been snatched, but I have to make peace and move on. Yet, I can’t help but wonder if it’s that simple. Is sense-making really that bad?

“I think the answer is complicated,” Wakslak said. “I do think it’s important to realize that negative emotions can be damaging, but they can also motivate action … we can actually change our circumstances for the better.”

I agree with Wakslak: If a bad experience is going to induce anxiety and paralyze you from taking further action, then sense-making is helpful. But, it’s important to strike a balance by being realistic too, so you can learn and create meaning from the bad experience. 

Perhaps I wasn’t rejected from those internships because my dream internship was just waiting for me. However, the rejections taught me what I needed to improve to become good enough for my dream internship. Perhaps my ex-roommate and I being in a class together is pure coincidence, but we both are choosing to use it as an opportunity for a fresh start.

When the pain of a bad experience and the uncertainty of the future overwhelmed me, believing there was a greater reason for all of it helped me cope. But, if I had relied too much on the saying and kept justifying the experiences to myself, I wouldn’t have grown. I wouldn’t have been motivated to take the steps that made the bad experience worth it. So, in the end, I truly believe that everything does happen for a reason, but only if you take the steps to create the reason. 

Edhita Singhal is a junior writing about life lessons she has learned in college in her column, “Thinking Out Loud,” which runs every other Wednesday.