“Gaslight, gatekeep, girlboss.” The anthem of female manipulators around the world — or is it  actually Lana Del Rey’s “National Anthem (Demo Unreleased Version)?” In the age of the internet, young women have been increasingly succeeding in a male-dominated space as they post online about their niche: indie interests that mark them out as the ones men should watch out for. 

Girls have taken the classic “Name five songs” stereotype and turned it on its head amid the countless TikTok and Instagram accounts dedicated to warring over who has the best, and most underground, music taste. With videos that satirize and humiliate their male counterparts, female manipulators have made their mark.

Who needs to comment “let down underrated” on yet another Radiohead video when you can instead discuss the best unreleased Lana Del Rey track in the comments of a Spotify podcast episode; who cares about the male loneliness epidemic when you have more Smiths vinyls than the guy who posts videos of himself looking pouty and so “#darkacademia” in the library; and who needs to know how much an indie guy’s thrift haul costs when you can do a money spread of your grunge CDs with the caption “Do you have a boyfriend?” “No?”

If any of these warning signs sound familiar, it might be time to take a look at the artists you love and wonder if you’ve taken up the mantle of female manipulator. If you have, it might be time to take a look in the mirror and admire your septum piercing — and then decide what Sofia Coppola movie you’re going to watch next.

Fiona Apple

What budding femcel hasn’t heard “Paper Bag” and immediately added it to their regular rotation? 

Fiona Apple’s unique mix of a deeply honest, grungy sound and a commitment to being herself has appealed to generations of women around the world. Tracks like “Criminal” and “I Want You To Love Me” are raw and detail Apple’s equal revulsion and obsession with her male romantic partners. 

Apple’s voice, at times scratchy like on “Cosmonauts” and at times sweet like on her — obviously superior — cover of The Beatles’ “Across the Universe,” reflects the passion she pours into her writing. This authenticity is perfect for screaming the lyrics alone in one’s room or turning off a particularly annoying date.

Grimes

Ah, Grimes. 

The original femcel, who was one of the first to go pro by marrying billionaire Elon Musk and then still attempting to talk about communism on X. Admittedly — and infuriatingly — her music is fantastic and it was revolutionary at the time it came out. It has gone on to influence many other artists with its lush production and futuristic sound. Songs like “Kill V. Maim” mock male privilege and her vocals are on another level as she alternates between soprano-style singing and screams.  

“4ÆM” is one of the best songs to pregame to as it makes one feel as if they are in a movie club scene à la “Tron: Legacy” (2010) or “The Matrix” (1999). Female manipulators love to one-up one another with rarer and rarer Grimes tracks, even as they mock her frankly absurd views, which she regularly and freely shares online.

Hole

Courtney Love is the OG female manipulator blueprint. 

From wearing silky yet grungy dresses on stage while she shredded the guitar to feuds with Trent Reznor, Dave Grohl and Billy Corgan, Love has never shied away from being the often furious center of attention. Hole’s songs are abrasive and brash, but they also have a fervent honesty behind them that is very attractive. Hole lets female manipulators rage at the status quo. 

“Jennifer’s Body” fights against domestic violence with Love’s iconic voice rising to the forefront, and “Celebrity Skin” highlights the hypocrisy of Hollywood and the double standards for women where they have to be both sexy and prudish as she sings “No second billing ’cause you’re a star now / Oh, Cinderella, they aren’t sluts like you / Beautiful garbage, beautiful dresses.” If Courtney Love ends up being your idol, it’s pretty likely you have more than a few feuds going on at once, but at least you’ll look great while doing it.

Mitski

If you’ve ever cried alone in your room with all your lights off, then chances are you’ve done it to “Last Words of a Shooting Star” or “I Bet on Losing Dogs.” Mitski is one of the all-time greatest sad songwriters, and her place among the female manipulator Hall of Fame has been cemented with such lyrics like “Mom, would you wash my back? / This once, and then we can forget / And I’ll leave what I’m chasing / For the other girls to pursue” from “Class of 2013,” whose Tiny Desk performance is even more heartbreaking than the album version. 

One of the first playlist results on Spotify when you type in “Mitski” is “mitski songs that leave me empty,” with over 38,000 saves. Mitski’s music allows listeners to unabashedly indulge in their most desolate and futile feelings while still being beautiful to listen to. Even better, they slot perfectly into the post-life-threatening-situationship playlist once a female manipulator has decided she’s had enough of the indie boy of the month.