When I turn Leonardo DiCaprio’s least favorite age, I am eagerly expecting to receive a cake with his face reading, “Noo don’t turn 25 your so sexy aha.” The actor famously has a track record of dating women below 24 and kicking them to the curb the moment the clock strikes midnight and the Earth has finished its rotation relative to the sun. DiCaprio’s romantic history is disgusting, but hardly unsurprising. 

The trope of older men dating younger women is far from new. Yet, in today’s media, the taboo and salaciousness of age-gap relationships is embraced more than challenged. While the age gap itself is not necessarily an issue, young women do not have a complete understanding of the complexities that accompany such drastic generational differences.      

Some TikTokers have taken to the app to show off their age-gap relationships as “relationship goals.” User @diana_edgar7 showcases her relationship with her 77-year-old partner, garnering millions of views from the shock factor of their 52-year age gap, which they proudly tout. Most comments cheer her relationship solely so she can “get that bag.” 

Another girl infamous for her age-gap relationship, @xoxosloanieb, often joked about the backlash against it, saying that the development of the prefrontal cortex is “literally a myth.” Later that year, they split, and she posted a video warning young women about pursuing older men. The comments were far from sympathetic: “we told you, miss frontal lobe”; “this was a canon event”; and “damn finally.” 

These relationships are also constantly reinforced by the cultural zeitgeist. The comedy-drama series “Rivals” features a romantic relationship between main characters with an age gap of 17 years. Similarly, the series “Pretty Little Liars” has a far more illegal portrayal, with a high schooler and her teacher. The list goes on and on.  

A majority of these shows cater to female audiences, which speaks to a greater societal presumption that these relationships appeal to women. But when these portrayals are closely examined, they rarely hold up over time; the sex appeal unravels to showcase unappetizing power imbalances and toxicity. Yet, the question remains: Why are women so attracted to the age-gap relationship? 

There are two sides to this coin. After centuries of arranged marriages and scandalizing ankles, women have more personal autonomy than ever over their sexuality. Although women’s pleasure is still considered taboo, by proudly showcasing their relationships, women seem to be trying to flip the script by asserting their power over societal expectations. 

Additionally, by choosing to participate in age-gap relationships, women modernize an outdated tradition that was previously utilized by men for financial gain and pleasure, and turn it into something empowering. In Western cultures, younger women have historically sought older men for financial security. Now, as women gain more economic power, men are no longer calling the shots.  

But that does not erase the structural imbalance at hand. Yes, at 18 years old, you are legally allowed to date someone a decade older — but just because you can doesn’t mean you should. We cannot allow this romanticism to overlook not only the gender power imbalance that exists, but also the unrelatability of such drastic age differences. 

Women still only make 83.6% of men’s salaries, according to the United States Bureau of Labor Statistics. Additionally, according to a 2025 study by Elif Sarac and Deniz Odabas, women are more likely to experience economic abuse than men, a problem that is rooted in gender inequality and places their financial independence at risk. 

Older men with money and power seem especially attractive when young people are having difficulty finding employment, and security is not a guarantee. But with power also comes the increased possibility of being taken advantage of. Financial dependency leaves women vulnerable to being trapped in unhealthy and dangerous relationships that can cause problems not worth the temporary relief.     

Another 2017 study conducted by Wang-Shang Lee and Terra McKinnish showed that, for couples in age-gap relationships, “marital satisfaction declines more rapidly over time” after six to 10 years than those who had similarly-aged partners. The results also suggest that if experiencing negative economic shock, age-gap couples experienced larger declines in marital satisfaction.  

Smoking cigarettes and having “trauma” as a young woman does not make you more mature. Similarly, as an older man, neither does paying for the dinner of a new adult who has just entered the workforce, despite what Tumblr made you believe.   

Age-gap relationships can work if they are executed appropriately. This raises a better question: Why are older men even interested in such young women at all? A 20 year old is not even close to being in the same stage of life as a man in his 30s, let alone 50s. A young person’s naivete, regardless of gender and class, could easily be manipulated.

So before we jump to romanticize that silver fox walking down the street, we must recognize the underlying problems that accompany such a scrutinized relationship.