My whole life, I have waited for a love story like the ones in the movies. I found it easy to be swept away by the promise of a happy ending, the comforting idea of one true love.

Reality today feels more and more dissonant with the feel-good films I grew up watching. The film industry seems to reflect this, moving away from rom-coms in recent years. I confess I understand why. It’s difficult to root for something that increasingly feels like a pipe dream.

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In a world where online dating is seemingly ubiquitous and meet-cutes are scarce, are romance stories disappearing in real life as well as in film? I find myself wanting to scream, “Does anyone believe in love anymore? Does anyone have the time?”

Though falling head over heels for your boss because of citizenship struggles — see “The Proposal” (2009) — or falling madly in love as a result of convoluted, intersecting job tasks — see “How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days” (2003) — is perhaps rarer than the mere unexciting Tinder match, movies that — at their core — celebrate true love can never be without merit.

Ultimately, the most pressing issue facing rom-coms is that the love they portray is out of reach and unattainable. It may be difficult to watch a film that so closely mirrors reality yet offers false expectations of this awe-inspiring, world-changing love to come.

Rom-coms are often written off with an eye roll and, “That kind of love only exists in the movies.” It can be draining for hopeless romantics and pessimists alike to consume media so overwhelmingly positive when real life fails to deliver the same.

The idea of finding “the one” can also be problematic here. If we believe that a singular person can be our happy ending, we may misinterpret the effort relationships require as a sign that the connection isn’t right. It’s easy to believe love is simple and merely a feeling when we fall for its onscreen glamorization.

I’ve been comforted recently by the notion that maybe it’s not so much about the love that is meant for you as it is about the love you repeatedly choose. In the words of relationship expert Matthew Kelly, “Love is a verb, not a noun. Love is something we do, not something that happens to us.”

Love isn’t an end goal but a practice. Admiring rom-coms is wonderful so long as you know they don’t offer the whole story, so long as you know that love requires work and this work is necessary. Nothing worthwhile is meant to be easy.

Though one must tread lightly, I’d argue these so-called unrealistic standards actually constitute rom-coms’ greatest strength. While there is a delicate balance between unrealistic and healthy to aspire to, I do believe an appreciation for rom-coms can offer a person a sense of the sort of love they deserve.

There is the story Ryan Gosling told about a couple who broke up after watching “The Notebook” (2004): a woman sat in the theater with her fiance and afterward told him it was over. When he asked her why she said she knew he wouldn’t build a house for her like Noah did for Allie. While some, Gosling included, used this anecdote to advise people against aiming for love as depicted in film, I think I understand the woman who called it off.

It’s not about the house so much as it’s about the principle. You want to be with someone who you feel would do everything within their means to make you happy. I think the film merely reminded her of the love she was looking for and urged her to go out and find it.

In the end, I know that life is seldom as straightforward as the movies make it seem. I know that love is complex, and the dating world is absolutely brutal, but we have to be able to find love somewhere.

So long as we are mindful of our own feelings and aware of our own imperfections, watching a rom-com can be a lovely feel-good experience — one that reminds us to appreciate the love in our own lives, one that reminds us of a love worth fighting for.