I recently navigated a friendship breakup that had an abrupt, dissatisfying ending. Following an unexpected confrontation with a close friend with years of history, I found myself carrying many unanswered questions and struggling to find closure. 

I believed that if I deliberated on the situation long enough, I’d uncover an alternative explanation that would provide me with the answers I desired, as his dishonest and hurtful behavior conflicted with the friend I thought I knew. I even sent a closure paragraph, thinking that expressing my honest feelings would help me move forward; months of reflection later, I still struggle with many unresolved questions. 

I realized from this fallout that while I consistently desired an answer to every unexplainable question, some situations remain unfinished. I was treating ambiguity like a puzzle I could eventually solve, when in reality, I might never gain access to crucial missing pieces. 

As students, we’re conditioned to always have an answer. We’re advised to participate in class even when we don’t know the answer to a question. Even through the career lens, crafting the perfect response to interview questions is essential – “I don’t know” doesn’t suffice. 

Despite their negative perceptions, leaving things incomplete or unanswered doesn’t indicate failure; some things are better left unfinished before returning. A healthier distinction is to decipher what is unfinished, signifying a temporary pause, from what will always remain uncertain.

Being unfinished can refer to a situation that hasn’t reached its desired outcome: a paused renovation project, taking a break between class assignments before returning or repeated failures without a clear success. 

Though it merely represents a pause, incompleteness is frequently equated with failure, as success is often measured by output and not the process. Taking a break from writing an essay, for example, and returning when you gain more inspiration results in a better output than forcing yourself to write out of fear of pausing. 

Uncertainty refers to the lack of a clear answer in a situation involving imperfect or unknown information. Confusing friendship breakups, financial instability or anxiety about graduation and the future are examples in which a single answer can’t be uncovered with guidance or analysis. 

Human brains struggle with ambiguity. The desire for an answer stems from the powerlessness that emerges from uncertainty. Wanting an answer can be a way to regain control when we’ve lost it, and answers that don’t feel right can spark a sense of powerlessness. Still, having an answer doesn’t necessarily restore control or guarantee closure. 

Confirmation bias can arise from ambiguity, in which we seek information that supports preexisting beliefs and ignore contradictory evidence. However, human behavior is largely unpredictable, and complex situations can’t be treated like solving a puzzle. While the unknown represents what hasn’t been discovered yet, there are times when there is no feasible way to obtain an answer. 

Given that human brains struggle with uncertainty, we sometimes come to conclusions that aren’t necessarily accurate. In a 2008 study, Jennifer Whitson, an associate professor at the University of Texas at Austin, and Adam Galinsky, a professor at Northwestern University, discovered that a lack of control can increase illusory correlations, prompting pattern recognition where none exists. 

A job rejection could be correlated to a belief that you weren’t good enough, when in reality, the reasoning could have merely been a scheduling conflict. Such narratives are simply more ways of avoiding ambiguity and the resulting loss of agency. 

Araceli Navarro-Barragan, a senior majoring in public relations and advertising as well as creative writing, shared her experiences navigating uncertainty and the need for closure following a complicated friendship conflict. 

“With time, I began to learn that it’s okay to not get an answer about something, even though it’s really disappointing if I don’t,” Navarro-Barragan said. 

By leaving things both unanswered and unfinished, we can strengthen our judgment about what can be answered while leaving the door open to return when we’re ready. We can revisit the essay we were slumped over, returning with new counterarguments that weren’t clear before. We can reexamine friendships that drifted apart and resume them in better circumstances. 

Embracing uncertainty and incompletion doesn’t imply we should stop asking questions or stifle curiosity; rather, it means we should acknowledge what we have agency over and what we don’t. As college students, we may find uncertainty about the future especially daunting, yet the future will always feel unfinished simply because it hasn’t occurred yet. 

Not every situation needs a perfect ending, as some things are best left unfinished. Maybe someday, a rational justification can provide closure, or the chapter will close on its own. As students, accepting both uncertainty and incompletion is essential to gaining the closure necessary to move forward and face the unknown.