Hack your body to achieve successful college weight loss

They are everywhere. They are impossible to avoid. They are at every major intersection and on every television channel. What are they? Weight loss ads.

In this day and age it seems impossible to go even one hour in Los Angeles without seeing someone or something promising dramatic weight loss in less than a month.

But here’s the thing: They don’t work. Yes, they might cut weight, but they do so at the cost of overall health because of unnatural methods. Does anyone really want to put rubber bands into his or her organs or down a massive amount of unpronounceable chemicals?

With busy schedules taking hold of student life, it’s not a bad idea to consider changing one’s lifestyle to lose some weight. But instant, 30-pounds-in-two-weeks weight loss isn’t right. The tricky part of weight loss is patience.

The ideal way to lose weight is a proper balance of healthy eating, moderate exercise and plenty of sleep, but in college it’s hard to get any of those, let alone a combination — from experience, the sleep part is the hardest. So, how can one best lose weight?

The steps are a bit unique and require a leap of faith, but they work and aren’t as damaging to the body as some advertised products are. The trick? Hack your body.

The main idea is to put your body on a crash course, jolting it out of any metabolic routine. Do things to shake up how your body operates on a habitual level. Shaking things up forces the body to react, and if you shake it up long enough, the body will be put on a new, fat-burning path.

Most foods in the college lifestyle are fat building, not fat burning. Even so-called nutritious things, such as energy bars or the increasingly popular chocolate milk — although good for replenishing energy after intense exercise — are not useful for fat loss, as the high sugars and sugar-burning substances involved only stall loss, or in some cases add to fat gain. Saying “eat a balanced diet” is kind of obvious, so approach it a different way. If you can’t cut out the sugar from your diet — after all, it’s hard for some to drink coffee without any sweetener — find a way to negate its effects.

There are a few key spices that can actually block the intake of glucose to the body. A simple squeeze of lemon juice into a glass of water before a meal can cancel out the effects of sugar intake by keeping the body from absorbing it.

The same can be said for cinnamon. A dash of it is equally useful. Probably not as good with steak or something like it, but still very useful for blocking glucose.

And since quick exercise is a tool that can be used to get over weight loss plateaus, it is good to bring it in early to start the initial fat burning. The trick is to find exercises that work as much of the body with the least amount of effort. Time to exercise is limited in college, so why waste it on extraneous activities? Alternate between compound resistance exercises like deadlifts and incline bench presses, with interspersed cardiovascular exercise in the form of running. This will work the entire body with the least amount of effort.

Still too much? Try possibly one of the easiest but most overlooked solutions out there: Stand up. College students spend most of their time sitting, whether in desks in class, at home or in the car. But that only kills muscle activity and flatlines the metabolism.

The solution: Try the standing desk approach and forgo the chair, at least at home. Simply raise up your desk and work while vertical. Just like that, without any exercise, the muscles get more engagement and burn more calories.

Want a very beneficial tip for weight loss? Try cold therapy, especially in the form of cold showers after exercise. This might sound a bit uncomfortable, but in reality it can be enjoyable and has a number of benefits. Cold water increases circulation and its thermal load is greater, meaning more calories are burned in the cold water than in air. Plus, the cold stimulates certain hormones in the body that fight stress and depression, combating the weight gain brought on by hectic, busy schedules.

Weight loss isn’t impossible; it doesn’t have to entail doing something unnatural and unhealthy.

The body can be hacked.

Nicholas Slayton is a junior majoring in print and digital journalism.  His column “Way of the Body” runs Tuesdays.