Going home for the holidays can put strain on relationships
It’s the most wonderful time of the year. Sorry, I couldn’t help myself, Andy Williams’ song just gets me in the holiday spirit. It’s finally winter recess, where we all get to leave campus and go home to spend some much-needed quality time with the ones we love, and whether you’re with family or friends, it is sure to be a great time. There will be eggnog, cookies, ice skating, marshmallows and of course, Christmas movies. But one thing will be missing once you travel back home: your significant other.
There won’t be holding hands while ice skating or cuddling up with cups of hot cocoa, and that can put a real damper on your holiday spirit. Your family waits weeks to see you, and there is nothing that hurts more than them feeling like you aren’t just as excited to see them. So no matter how much you miss your love, you cannot sit around and act sullen.
This is a time to be grateful for the opportunities you have been given in life, and it is unnecessary to focus on the stress distance will put on your relationship. It is easy to think everything has to go smoothly during the holidays — from cooking holiday meals to the gifts you buy for your loved ones and seeing old friends you wish to impress — but nothing is perfect.
A month is a long time to be separated from someone you love, but there are ways to combat some of the worries. Before you leave, have a game plan of how you both intend to keep in touch with one another.
I find that the best way to keep up is Skype or ooVoo. If that is too much for you, even just a phone call before bed works well. When my boyfriend and I first started dating, distance was a huge factor in our relationship. He lives on the West Coast while I’m all the way across the country on the East Coast. We both knew that we would have to put in extra effort to talk to each other. Our families are extremely keen on family time, and that left little time for our relationship. So we made a plan. We Skyped at least once a week, and it did not matter what day as long as we had at least 20 minutes to catch up. Additionally, he would call me every night just before I went to bed. Sometimes that phone call was only two minutes, but we got to hear each other’s voices, which was nice.
One of the hardest parts of being away from your significant other is that you do not know who your significant other is hanging out with. No matter how much you trust each other, the thought of them cheating on you over the holidays will creep into your mind. One of the most exciting parts of going home for the holidays is seeing high school friends. Unfortunately, this might include high school flings. We all know people who cannot wait to go home specifically to see an ex and have one more quick rendezvous with them. Be open with one another and talk about the friends you are going to see. You do not have to specify if you have been romantic with the person unless your significant other asks you directly, but the worst thing you can do is lie. Even if you have no intentions of cheating, it makes you seem like you are hiding something when you lie or omit information.
In today’s day and age, technology plays a major role in relationships and can create riffs between couples. One thing to remember is not to use social media against each other. Every memory we have is usually plastered all over Facebook and a lot of the time pictures can be misleading. As much as we want to take pictures kissing our best guy friends on the cheek or taking pictures with our seven best guys friends, it’s good to be considerate of our significant other. Not being able to see each other only gets harder when you see pictures of your significant other having a great time without you.
Don’t get me wrong — you can hang out with your guy and girl friends, party and have a good time, but that does not mean you need everyone else to see it by Instagramming and Facebooking every second. Trust me, your significant other will thank you later when you are finally reunited and made it through Christmas break with no problems.
Enjoy this time with your family and understand that even though it feels like a month is forever, you and your significant other will be reunited shortly.
Cassie Collins is a junior majoring in communication. Her column, “From Troy, with Love,” ran Wednesdays.