Sexiling doesn’t fall under university’s umbrella

Sex happens. On college campuses, it’s viewed as almost inevitable, from the freely available ’SCondoms to the raunchy movies and TV shows everyone watches. Because of this, everyone will probably know a few good “sexile” stories.

For non-collegiates, sexiling refers to a sticky situation where one roommate may find his or her room occupied by a roommate’s sexual encounter, and is forced to find some other place to sleep or study.

Rita Yeung | Daily Trojan

Sexiling is a strange two-way street: It’s a terrible thing when you’re the one being sexiled, but it’s a privilege you’d want to have if you had a special someone over.

Across the country, sexiling seems to have become an unspoken allowance — because, hey, what’s the harm of not being able to enter your room for an hour or so? Be cool, man.

Tufts University recently brought that unspoken practice to the spoken realm when it formally forbade sexiling in on-campus housing. Tufts’ 2009-2010 housing handbook articulates the rule as follows:

“You may not engage in sexual activity while your roommate is present in the room. Any sexual activity within your assigned room should not ever deprive your roommate(s) of privacy, study, or sleep time.”

Of course, the university did not articulate whether it was forbidden if said sexual activity was engaged with said roommate.

What seems like an amusing policy in which the university extends its authority all the way to one’s bed is actually politically and socially complex.

One side of the debate says it’s ridiculous and unenforceable; sex is going to happen regardless of policy. Sexually charged college students aren’t going to stop and consider consequences.

After all, having to deal with others’ sexual activities is a real-world experience that forces roommates to discuss certain issues. A five-minute discussion establishing the meaning of a sock on the doorknob could make a policy unnecessary. Without the dorm room, students may have a hard time finding another place to have alone time.

The other side of the debate argues the new policy is a necessary measure to protect a student’s privacy and mental well-being. Anyone could have difficulty confronting a roommate they’ve heard making animalistic grunts inside their room.

Even worse is if the sexual activity actually takes place in the presence of the roommate under the false assumption that he or she was asleep.

Not everyone can point out the indecency of such an act as it takes place. And because sex in college is less of a stigma and more of a staple, limiting a roommate’s trysts could come off as prudish. Nobody wants to feel like the little kid who’s crying, “I’m telling!”

Legally, a roommate has no right to keep another roommate out of the room. It’s supposedly common sense to have mutual agreements about the etiquette in these situations, but that’s not always the case. Whether it’s because an increasing number of students are still immature as they enter college or because the culture of “hooking up” is getting out of control, putting sexile rules into formal university policy says something depressing about our abilities to handle these situations.

The policy at Tufts is looking like a sadly comical social experiment other American universities will be looking at with interest. Perhaps such a policy will go out the window in a year or so. Or, it could end up being a policy enforced at USC someday. It might have seemed like leaving the watchful parents’ home to live at college meant sexual freedom yesterday, but today’s rules are coming down harder.

Sexually active students need to take the responsibility to communicate and compromise with their roommates — ultimately, the decision should come from the student, not the administration.

Because, let’s face it, nobody wants to be the person standing outside texting their roommate at 2 a.m. to see if it’s okay to go back inside the room.

Victor Luo is a junior majoring in creative writing.