Students need to separate from parents

The first orientation session for USC freshmen begins Thursday. Some of these new students might see this as the first step to an imminent independence. Most of these incoming undergraduates, however, probably don’t realize leaving their parents behind might be easier said than done once fall semester begins.

The Los Angeles Times recently published the second story in a five-part series discussing the evolving relationship between parents and children as technology advances. The article “The Bond: Staying in touch when children go to college” explains that new technologies, including Skype, Facebook, and unlimited texting and calling, have bound parents and students together for a longer period of time than in past decades.

Jovanna Tosello | Summer Trojan

Students need to take the first step in loosening the parental ties. Only then will the transition from dependence to independence take place.

College serves as the time for mom-and-dad-dependent teenagers to begin preparing for the world they’ll encounter in four years, at which point they should be prepared and self-reliant adults. This process is hindered when parents follow their children into college through constant communication via cell phone and computer.

Middlebury College psychology professor Barbara Hofer told the Los Angeles Times that students surveyed at Middlebury and the University of Michigan are in contact with their parents more than 13 times a week on average. Though this does not represent students at universities across the country, it can be assumed the students and parents of these two schools are using the same technology everyone else is using for communication.

Facebook “friending” the student and overusing a smartphone to stay attached can induce negative consequences. Rather than learning how to deal with difficult situations, they turn to their parents for help.

The article cited several of these instances. Some students send essays to parents to edit instead of using resources provided at school or asking a friend with writing talents. Other parents intervene during problems with roommates or departments at school.

Parents must let their young ones leave the nest. Otherwise, the relationship becomes a problem for students.

“They grow up essentially with the idea that they don’t have to separate from their parents,” said Sherry Turkle, a professor at MIT who specializes in technology and relationships, to the Los Angeles Times.

But they must separate. Once done with college, they can’t go into the workplace with their parents tagging along. Reducing communication between parent child helps the student move toward independence. Less communication means the student will solve problems on his own.

Parents justify their involvement in their young adult’s life by saying that the money being spent on a college education is reason enough to remain involved.

Parental involvement in the years leading up to and during high school most likely helped in getting the student into a reputable university. Once enrolled, the young adults have to take initiative in separating from their parents. Students need to think for themselves, prioritize and organize, and learn from their mistakes.

Complete independence while in college can’t easily be attained because students rely on their parents to pay for expenses but a certain amount of independence can be achieved to allow the student to learn to be self-supporting.

Giovanni Osorio is a senior majoring in English and international relations, and he is editor-in-chief of the Summer Trojan.