How to make date-worthy fudge

It’s getting to that point in the semester. The point when I have been rechristened “Leavey troll,” where I switch between counting days until summer and pulling my hair out at the sheer amount that needs to be accomplished in those days. Safe to say distinct meals are no longer a part of the day. If they ever were?

Hi, I’m Shalaka, and I’m a stress eater. It’s something I refuse to be ashamed of, because it’s the little pleasures that keep you going when things get gray (and teal and horrific pink, like the walls of my favorite building on campus). And most of the time, the little pleasures lie in chocolate. Chocolate will never introduce added stress into your life, it won’t refuse to show up to group project meetings and it won’t mark down your paper. Chocolate’s the true homie. Except when chocolate isn’t homies with my un-stretchy slacks.But slacks everywhere can rejoice, because I’ve got a solution for you, and it lies in that miraculous and exotic fruit known as the date. Less elusive and stressful than the eponymous social concept!

To the inexperienced eye, dates can look like shriveled brown hunks of fruity flesh. Yum. Are you sold yet? But to the knowledgeable user, hidden inside is nature’s take on the gooiest, sweetest caramel. In honor of Earth Day this week, a salute to Mama Earth for killing the fruit game, always.

We’re going to take the date and make fudge, no sugar added (because they bring plenty of their own), with wiggle room for plenty of personalization, for all your finals stress eating needs.

To begin your date initiation, the ‘Medjool’ variety are often the softest and sweetest, and Ralph’s sometimes has some! But even if you catch a sad/dry batch of dates (is this getting too real?) there are fixes: soak them in hot water for about 10 minutes before proceeding with the recipe. Does this technique work on boys? Someone please try and keep me posted.

Ingredients and volumes in this recipe are flexible/approximations, based on the consistency and strength of flavor you hope to achieve.

Ingredients:

• ⅓ c. pitted dates (Medjool preferred. If not, soak in hot water for 10 min. before continuing)
• 2 tbsp. nut butter of your choice (I’m particularly partial to almond)
• 2 tbsp. cocoa powder (unsweetened! none of that Nestle packet business here)
• ½ tsp. vanilla extract
• 1 pinch salt
• Flavoring ingredient of choice:
• 1 tbsp. dried coconut
• 1 tsp. instant coffee
• 4-5 leaves fresh mint
• A sprig of desperation
• A twist of hope (Really use your imagination here!)

Directions:

1. Honestly, just blend it all. Toss the dates in last/first depending on the assembly of your blender. You want them to be closest to the blade. Stop and mix it all together a few times.
2. Roll the mix into balls with your hands or press it into fun shapes. Or eat with a spoon straight out of the blender?

Here’s a dessert that’s roommate-approved, vegan and slacks-friendly — what more could you want?