Ask Tiffany: A pledge to keep his values
Bonita Nongluk | Daily Trojan
Dear Tiffany,
I’m really nervous about joining a frat because I heard they make you do terrible and gross things during pledging. How can I make sure I don’t have to compromise my values but still have a thriving social life?
– Nervous Nelly
Despite attempts to hide pledging lore away in dirty frat house basements, tales of plastic bottle liquor debauchery, Taco Bell binges and enfeebling physical feats (hey man, it’s for your health!) have long been perpetuated through the USC rumor mill. “Terrible and gross” are accurate descriptors of pledge semester for many — though definitely not all — greek fraternities. The only way to make sure you don’t compromise your values is to avoid houses that humiliate their new members for the noble sake of building character/bonding/proving themselves, otherwise known as “hazing.”
“Ugh Tiffany,” you say, “but I’m a guy and I can’t get into any parties, you just don’t get it, blah blah top houses blah!”
Sometimes, it can seem like joining greek life is the only way to get in on the fun; after a semester or two, however, you learn this is a fallacy. The greek community at USC is certainly very established and has prolific social programming, but what if I told you that people unaffiliated with greek organizations also have thriving social lives? Greek students comprise around 25 percent of the undergraduate population, leaving the other over 14,000 students unaffiliated. These students frequent parties from 37th to 24th, Menlo to the ‘Zo. You can hang with the same kids at your Thursday night “Mathletes and Athletes” mixer, or you can meet greeks and non-greeks alike outside the confines of your frat house for $4,500 less a year!
Some frats don’t degrade their new members, and these houses could be a great fit for you. But as your pledging semester commences, keep in mind you can always tap out with a blazing deliverance about integrity and a mic drop.
Tiffany Kuan is a senior majoring in business administration. Her blog advice column, Ask Tiffany, runs every Monday.
Submit your ethical quandaries to tiny.cc/asktiffany, and be on the lookout for sage advice from Ask Tiffany every Monday.
Word!!!!!
Also, for anyone who reads this and feels like they’ve had difficulty making friends so far (especially freshmen): I definitely relate to that and think that feelings of disconnectedness are not as common as you may think. However, by the end of college, I had a very rich & healthy social life and supportive network of friends (both in terms of both quantity and quality). Many of my friends played a key role in my growth & development throughout college and my present life.
I think a huge part of what facilitated these types of rich friendships is my ability to be an individual and my friends’ abilities to be individuals, united by common interests/values who deeply respect amd value each other’s individual differences.
In terms of how this worked out in practice: my personal primary method for making friends was joining student organizations I was interested in. I think this worked out because 1.I met people who were attracted to similar ideas and activities, and 2. there was a reason to be there other than just making friends, which took way the pressure to “be someone these people would be friends with” and allowed us the space to just be ourselves. I know people who went to USC who made friends through work or performance or study groups or taking fun two unit classes.
If I were to give freshman-me some advice on making friends, I would say to prioritize being yourself and doing what you want to do (either because you enjoy it or it makes you proud, hopefully both), and the friends will follow in a way that makes sense for you.
to the ‘Zo!!!!1!
-MF