Ignoring porn in sex education is a mistake

Virtual reality is slowly becoming our reality. The most obvious example of the lines lburring between the screen and our world is the porn industry. It’s been rapidly growing since the emergence of the internet starting with photos and expanded to live webcams. A study in 2008 found that 87 percent of men ages 18-26 and 31 percent of women view pornographic content on university campuses. It’s obvious — the target audience is men. Unfortunately, this means debasing women in the virtual world of porn. This increasing objectification of women illuminates the greater need for conversations about porn in classrooms.

Aggressive sexual engagement becomes the fantasy that porn-watchers find themselves unable to look away from. Peggy Orenstein writes in her book Girls & Sex, “[Pornography] producers have one goal: to get men off hard and fast for profit. That means eroticizing the degradation of women.” The business wants money, and in turn, the viewers receive not only entertainment, but also an unrealistic, even demoralizing, video or photo of sex. Pornography normalizes the use of women as sex objects for the pleasure of men. And this brings up a major problem: Physical sexual aggression that is pleasurable to men but painful for women becomes the general understanding of what sex should be. If this becomes the norm, women and even men will have a harder time realizing when sexual assault is occurring.

A survey conducted in 2014 by the Association of American Universities found that 23 percent of college women experience some form of unwanted sexual contact.  For female seniors attending prestigious universities like Yale and Harvard, this statistic increases to 32 and 29 percent respectively.

But pornography doesn’t cause rape; in fact, rape has dropped dramatically over the past two decades. Porn does, however, give a higher status to men who achieve physical dominance over women whether by force or the threat of force. Two years ago, researchers at the London School of Hygiene & Tropical Medicine interviewed 130 people ages 16 to 18 to find out if porn played a part in anal sex. Both sexes reported that it was likely to be pleasurable for men but painful for women, and many of the young men described pressing their girlfriends to consent even after multiple refusals.

It’s highly unlikely that porn causes this form of sexual engagement. But porn does constitute most young adults’ general understanding of sex. The skyrocketing rise of pornography online has not been paralleled with adequate research of its influence on young adults. Researchers need to study in greater detail how the content is digested in order to understand how it impacts the minds and sexual fantasies of naive and malleable adolescents. An assessment by the Office of Children’s Commissioner in England of 2,304 research papers found that only 79 of those papers drew conclusions from sound evidence. Porn is now neither rare nor pricey, and students are looking to it for answers that sex education does not provide.

Sex and pornography need to be discussed in classrooms without taboo. The discussion should be an open space where students can freely communicate their curiosities to teachers, parents or guardians. Adults, most importantly, must create that space in order for students to feel safe to ask questions or share opinions with their peers. Instead of shying away from sex education — and talking about pornography — adults and the education system must treat this as a sensitive yet crucial topic and begin to hold discussions that promote critical thinking. The longer adults wait in embarrassed silence for kids to teach themselves, the more kids will search for ways to learn about sex. And the one thing adults should be more afraid of than discussing sex with their children is what’s online for young people to find.

Pornography is simply a new way to teach sex in the same way that classroom lessons already integrate technology to better educate students. Christian Graugaard, a professor of sexology at Aalborg University, told The Economist, “Porn can be used to talk about gender equality, safe sex, and the meaning of consent.” Discussions won’t introduce students to porn — because it surrounds them already — but the tide can be turned. As Graugaard believes, “it’s important young people learn to be critical consumers.” Without proper education, adolescents will believe media to be reality.