Sex positivity is not as positive as we think

Content warning: This article contains references to sexual violence and stalking.

As the guinea pigs of the internet, Generation Z is the first to be raised on social media, and we have stumbled quite a bit through this new territory. With rather unrestricted access to the internet, we have been at odds with barrages of media — including the growth of the sex positivity movement in our adolescence which has created harmful effects.

With more and more Gen Z women vocalizing their uncomfortable and traumatic teenage experiences following influences from online sex positivity, it has become clear that this is a problem that is much larger than anyone anticipated. As Instagram account @lalalaletmeexplain, an anonymous sex and dating advice account, explains in an article from The Guardian by Gaby Hinsliff, “​​While women who enjoy rough sex have an absolute right to pursue it without shame … the normalisation of pain in porn may provide cover for some abusive men, and make women feel prudish for refusing potentially dangerous acts like choking.”

The internet brought forth a never before seen trend of sex positivity aesthetics and mantras. Campaigns of “reclaiming and embracing your sexuality” allured an entire generation to follow along blindly with an incredibly naive idea of what “reclaiming sexuality” meant.

Even if well-intentioned, some aspects of sex positivity perpetuates distorted sexual ideals to minors. 

Instead of comprehensive sexual education, we ended up on the opposite extreme — encouraging potentially dangerous sexual images and ideas despite pain to the younger generation. As @lalalaletmeexplain said, “Sexual liberation is great, but in some ways we ran with that, and then ended up in a model of sex that has been created by men.”

While social media platforms began to censor explicit content in an effort to combat distorted ideals and issue of child pornography, the widespread content censorship came with an unexpected response: a movement to embrace one’s sexuality further. This message proved extremely harmful to the young women of this generation, some, who have shared on TikTok, participating in Tumblr sex blogs at a young age that compromised their emotional and physical safety by consenting to things they might have not been completely comfortable with that they encountered online. 

Planned Parenthood reports that less than half of high schools in the United States teach comprehensive sexual education. This, along with an incredibly limited understanding of all things in the sexual realm, teenagers turned to their newest outlet — the internet — for guidance. Though it can be a wonderful resource, it also doubles as a cesspool that breeds misinformation and half-baked concepts — one being the glamorization of sex work.

Opinions on the acceptability of sex work vary from person to person, but one aspect of the job that should be intuitive is that sex workers should not face violence or the threat of violence simply because of their occupation. According to MIC writer Jenny Kutner, “A study from the Urban Justice Center’s Sex Workers Project found 46% of sex workers experienced violence in the course of their work.”

Though sex positivity has made strides in battling the stigma that accompanies those that work in the sex industry, it has simultaneously forgotten the risks associated with a job in sex work. 

A resurgence in this thinking has made its way onto TikTok as I have seen countless young women post about their nearly overnight success working in a strip club or by starting an OnlyFans. Short videos that showcase the tantalizing prospect of making hundreds of dollars a night go viral and the subsequent videos with the creator’s disclaimer of the violence and stalking they experience are shadowbanned by the platform. 

As I was growing up, I would often hear the phrase, “If school doesn’t work out, I can always drop out and become a stripper.” 

Even though this was usually said in a light-hearted manner, it is indicative of the idea that this job is easy, safe and ignores the many issues sex workers face on a day to day basis. This not only halts the discussion of the issues within the sex industry but also glamorizes a job to a younger generation that are unaware of the nuances behind such issues.

Despite the online sex positivity movement being a well-intentioned effort to free women from the constraints of slut-shaming and patriarchal double standards, it is ultimately flawed; it has left a scar on Gen Z women and left many with regrets and traumatic experiences to work through. With this in mind, it is that much more important to not only prevent this kind of media from being cycled through again but to also emphasize the importance of physical and emotional sexual education for adolescents.