Seven steps to self-love this Valentine’s Day
Love, by definition, is simply an intense feeling of deep affection; but, without direction, does love lose its magnitude? In a 2022 survey, 58% of American adults claimed Valentine’s Day as not a real special occasion. While the stereotypical nature of the holiday is romantic, who is to say it can’t be platonic or even self-indulgent? This Valentine’s season, whether you’ve been lucky enough to be hit by Cupid’s arrow or arguably luckier to have been missed, I challenge you to focus on your own self-care and ponder what it really means to unconditionally love yourself in our very conditional world.
1. Stop comparing.
While even I get caught up in the abysmal depths of LinkedIn posts and Instagram feeds, we must acknowledge and share in the celebration of everyone’s successes without belittling our own endeavors. Take this popular metaphor for example: a bottle of water at the USC Village Target costs $1.19, while at the Coliseum the same water is at least $5. The only difference? Location. You have the power to grow where you are planted. After all, comparison is the thief of joy, so choose to protect your peace.
2. Prolonged gratification > short term, superficial satisfaction.
Remember Sigmund Freud? Here’s a refresher on the infamous neurologist’s theory of delayed gratification: by delaying the impulse of receiving an immediate reward to receive a more desired reward later, you are training your mentality to manage and value the time behind your endeavors.
3. Celebrate the baby steps!
With that being said, it’s important to give yourself credit along the way. Have you ever heard of Lacan’s theory of desire? Often, what we desire is desire itself, so the object of that desire seems empty when we get closer to attaining it. Whether it be making a vision board, checking off your to-do lists or treating yourself with a DULCE breakfast burrito, celebrate the small victories and fuel your next ambitions.
4. Speak to yourself the way you would speak to your best friend.
Words have power. As cliché as this sounds, words of affirmation influence us more than we think they do.
5. Look good, feel good, do good!
To begin this step, we must look into the mirror and not through a window. Appreciate yourself. Be proud of how far you have come. Rather than looking out a window and wishing to be someone else, look into the mirror and make a game plan to healthily accomplish your goals.
6. Focus on your unique abilities and be grateful for the ordinary.
Coming from someone with a chronic vision disability, I catch myself succumbing to my limitations and critiquing my shortcomings as a product of my inabilities. However, intentionality makes all the difference. Embody intentionality and you will realize the byproducts of your limitations do not compare to the results of your resiliency.
7. Fuel your soul.
Whether it may be bumping your favorite artist’s music, going on a run outside or finding comfort in your faith, spend intentional time with yourself. You attract what you are, so fuel yourself with the energy you want to attract.
Even though Valentine’s Day often gets a bad rep, there is so much beauty in the sentiment in being intentional about the things and people you choose to love. In our USC bubble, the student body can easily become overwhelmed with statistics of acceptance rates, grade point averages, career opportunities, social hierarchies and socioeconomic status, just to name a few. Out in the “real world,” it is inevitable that we will encounter a magnified array of these standards of quantitative values. Here’s the interesting thing about these qualities — they are all conditional. While I will not deny that these quantitative variables more often than not grant advantages at the starting line, these seven key practices ultimately serve as stepping stones in rewriting your narrative toward your finish line.
So, smile at that stranger when you’re waiting for a salmon bowl at Seeds. Wave at your friends when you race to cross Hoover and Jefferson in time. Remind your residential, dining and custodial staff workers you appreciate them and wish your roommate a good day before you part. Call your family to say “I love you” and cherish the gift of life you have been blessed to live. This is the beauty of Valentine’s Day many neglect to acknowledge -— the beauty of loving every aspect of life unconditionally.