College has changed me more than I expected
As I pushed my trolley through LAX with 18 years of my life meticulously packed into three gigantic bags, my nerves tingled with excitement and anxiety.
Before, when I lay in bed dreaming about my future at college, I was inspired by the glamorous representation of the United States on TV — most notably in “Friends.” I imagined the U.S. to be full of absurd coffee orders (like an iced shaken espresso with oat milk and salted caramel cold foam), casual run-ins with celebrities on the street and travel without worrying about terrible traffic — things that just didn’t happen at home in India.
Alas, though I live near Hollywood, my life is far from what they show in the movies. While there are multiple positives of the U.S. — like the high quality of education and open discourse about social issues — I was forced to remove the blindfold and bid adieu to the romanticized life I imagined.
It soon dawned on me that the perfect work-life balance isn’t always possible. While there are days when I am free by 6 p.m., more often than not, I start studying from 9 a.m. till well into the night. I found that the “broke college student” trope isn’t a myth — even basics like healthcare and food are expensive. And don’t even get me started on the prices of books — how is a bibliophile like me supposed to nurture her love of words when the latest book in “The Shadowhunter Chronicles” cost her $18?
The biggest discrepancy between my dream and real life, however, was my friend circle. Before college, I had proudly declared that I wouldn’t be paying for an expensive education abroad only to hang out with students from my own country. However, despite USC’s diverse population, at times I felt othered or misunderstood. Consequently, retreating into a friend group that looked like me, talked like me and shared similar experiences was comforting.
By the time summer rolled around, and Mumbai’s scorching heat welcomed me with sweat puddles, I had hauled home more than just three suitcases; I was full of life-changing experiences and memories.
As a control freak, I had already predicted the fate of my friendships: which ones would last, which ones would fade into obsolescence and which ones would result in awkward meetups when we bumped into each other at the same restaurant.
But, things didn’t go quite according to plan.
When a friend I had spoken to only a handful of times at college called to hang out, I expected it to be a one-off courtesy meet-up. So when we still ordered the same drinks at our local coffee shop, and I still poured out all my woes to him, I was pleasantly surprised.
I didn’t slide back into familiar patterns with all my friends, though, especially those who stayed in India. Maybe some friendships only thrive in person. It’s a bitter pill to swallow, but growing up is natural and, sometimes, people grow apart.
However, this cloud also had a silver lining: Unlike last summer, when I was running around from noon to midnight to hang out with my friends (they refused to make breakfast plans), now I am handpicking and prioritizing the few friends who truly matter. I now know which friendships will last through thick and thin — and through different time zones.
Attending college abroad also led to a new-found appreciation for India. Whenever I sit in a rickshaw, I am grateful for how easy and accessible it is for me to travel through the city. Every time I fall sick and rush to the doctor, I am grateful that I don’t have to worry about the medical expense. When I feel low, I am grateful for my family’s nontraditional methods of cheering me up — like letting me win at board games.
I am currently torn between the independent Edhita who did her own laundry for the first time at USC and the Edhita who is content at home with her mother’s head massages. I know I will change my mind a billion times over the next few years while grappling with this dilemma, but I hope to reconcile these two versions of me into one: an Edhita who holds onto her roots while still reaching out for new experiences.