A churro. A peach. A tall glass of milk. The Jacob Elordi bathwater candle. These are some of the items from the recent “freakiest” films people have ever seen, and most of these movies feature queer themes. Sex positivity in the media has come a long way over the years, as has LGBTQIA+ representation so it would seem as though modern society is not as conservative as we used to be. 

This, however, isn’t the truth. Conversations about sex are still whispered behind closed doors, especially for the LGBTQIA+ community. 

A 2021 article in the Harvard Kennedy School’s Student Policy Review on limitations of intimacy for queer couples found that “participants reported distress about being specifically watched (i.e., surveilled) not only when existing generally but especially when with a partner.” 

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Although progress has been made with the creation of more queer-targeted media, we as a society are far from having normalized queer intimacy. In fact, we’ve yet to normalize sex at all.  

In December, A24 debuted the controversial film “Babygirl” (2024) starring Harris Dickinson and Nicole Kidman. But there was a greater uproar over Drew Starkey getting hot and heavy with Daniel Craig in “Queer” (2024) than Dickinson watching Kidman lap up milk out of a bowl like a cat. 

Like with “Queer,” many viewers were also appalled by the peach scene in “Call Me by Your Name” (2017) wherein Timothée Chalamet’s character Elio penetrates the fruit bitten by his romantic interest, Oliver (Armie Hammer), in a moment of vulnerability and lust, as well as by Oliver (Barry Keoghan) drinking Felix’s (Jacob Elordi) bathwater in “Saltburn” (2023).

Although these scenes were definitely shocking and unusual — even I can admit they were a bit crazy — from the uproar of audience reactions, you’d think these movies contained the most graphic, grotesque sex acts you’d ever seen in your entire life. 

Since the rise in social media, “sex positivity” — defined by the BBC as “openness to a variety of sexual orientations, interests (or lack thereof), identities and expressions” — has been better promoted and more widespread. However, for a term that’s meant to refer to all communities, sex-positive viewers seem to falter with queer media. 

At times, queer representation has shown its flaws. 

A National Collegiate Honors Council journal regarding LGBTQIA+ representation in entertainment explains, “Out of the many tropes that exist in the entertainment world, the most significant and damaging are queerness being synonymous with or caused by mental illness, queer people being sexually or morally perverse, and the Bury Your Gays cliche.” But even with more normalized depictions, the stigmatization remains in audience reactions. 

Yes, it was a bit shocking to watch Mike Faist and Josh O’Connor make out while Zendaya sat back and watched in “Challengers” (2024). But based on TikTok reactions and vague comments, I was prepared to shield my poor eyes from the most intense profanity while sitting in the theater. Instead, I was graced with one of the best and arguably Oscar-snubbed movies of the year while the freakiest part of the movie was Faist’s moan every time he hit a tennis ball. 

Audience reactions seem completely different when it comes to heterosexual media about sex and sexuality compared to queer sex and sexuality. 

The same middle-aged women who are appalled by two men kissing in “Brokeback Mountain” (2005) are likely grinning ear to ear during all three “Fifty Shades of Grey” movies. Too many people were excited by the supposedly sexy idea of a man kidnapping a woman and keeping her for a year in “365 Days” (2020), yet viewers deem portrayals of queer couples — even without kidnapping plots — as “predatory.” 

When a man and a woman have sex in a movie or TV show, we call it what it is: a sex scene. But, when a gay couple has sex in a movie, it becomes porn. 

This is not to say that some of the recently released movies don’t use intentional “shock factor” or are the best pieces ever created. Sexuality is fluid and complex. You’re not going to like everything, and that’s okay. But before you give a scathing review about how unnecessarily and overly sexual a queer film was, consider this: was it the sex that made you uncomfortable — or the sexuality of the people involved? 

Sex is an awkward topic that not everyone is ready to take. You’re not a prude for wanting to stray away from it and you’re not a pervert for being drawn to it. However, we must learn to recognize when our criticisms are based on genuine disagreement with representations of sex or when they are a result of discomfort with the representations of queer sexuality. 

If these biases are influencing us, we must hold ourselves accountable to grow from our mistakes and create media spaces that are more accepting of LGBTQIA+ relationships and sexuality.