Ask Hahney: Overbearing Parents

Q: How do I deal with overbearing parents?

Ahhh, when you finally leave the nest… It can be hard… especially on your parents.

First, if you have parents who support you… in any and/or all capacities, please remember to thank them. They’re probably just checking in on you (every hour or so) because they care. If you’re from out of state, they most likely want to ensure that you’re being safe, that you’re growing and learning, and that you’re not homesick. They’re really only calling every 5 minutes because they love you.

It’s hard to be independent but it’s also equally as hard to let go of a child whom you’ve nurtured and watched grow over the last 18 years. But, you’re doing this together. You and your parents. You’re learning how to cook on your own and they’re learning that they can’t watch your every moves.

If you’re really stressed out about how much they interfere in your life, tell them (kindly, please). Tell them that you’re so grateful for their love and their support… but that you need space. Compromise! Let them know that instead of calling every hour, they should call every other hour or every other day! If you know where your parents are coming from, you’ll feel more inclined to hear them out.

They love you.

Side note: To parents, please let your kids make mistakes. Mistakes seem so daunting but your children will learn from their mistakes. It’s a part of growing up. No one lives a perfect life. No one goes through life without making a few mistakes or facing a few obstacles along the way. You’ve probably made them and your children will make them. Your children love you and one day, they’ll miss having you call all the time.