Self-partnering is necessary on path to self-love

The term “self-partnered,” made buzzworthy by celebrities such as Emma Watson and Lizzo, has recently blown up online. Instead of calling herself “single,” Watson, acclaimed actor and activist, says her use of “self-partnered” has more to do with individual independence and self-fulfillment than with whether or not she has a long-term partner.

For college students, dating and relationships may be incredibly varied. Many students date, some take on long-term relationships and others remain single. Perhaps like Lizzo’s song “Soulmate” suggests, there should be more acceptance in being your own soulmate and more emphasis placed on the joy in building a life by yourself, which holds as much merit as doing it with someone else. 

One of the biggest misconceptions is that single people are more unhappy than those in relationships. Far from being miserable, anti-social or cynical, research shows that not only are singles becoming the fastest growing demographic in the U.S., they are also just as happy as those who are married or in committed relationships. In fact, they may even be happier. Single people have more personal control over their schedules, free time and ability to explore personal interests. Whereas exercise, seeing friends and spending time alone are often pushed aside in relationships. 

For college students, leisure time is already a precious rarity. Adding a relationship can result in added pressure and less time figuring out what is best for you and you alone. Being on your own also allows you to focus on developing personal and professional goals, which is a key aspect of the college experience. 

Another misconception is that being single means sacrificing connections altogether. Just because you may not be  in a serious relationship doesn’t mean you are neglecting to spend time with friends and family or forging new acquaintances. Being “self-partnered” equates to self-sufficiency but not necessarily being physically alone all the time. Regardless of relationship status, personal support systems are invaluable. In the high-intensity atmosphere of college, this is even more so. 

Of course, some may be eager to jump into the world of relationships in college. Popular dating apps are heavily marketed toward college students and recent graduates, as they are the most likely groups to use them. The number of users has nearly tripled in the last few years, as reported by a 2016 Pew Research Study that found that 27% of people age 18-24 have used dating apps. A booming market means the development of specialty apps that appeal to specific groups. 

For instance, Friendsy searches only for other college students, while HER tailors to queer and non-binary individuals. Students can control their level of involvement; whether you are seeking a more casual fling or a serious connection, there are plenty of options. 

Whether or not you’re seeking romantic relationships, college remains a wonderful place to meet as many people as possible. It’s an opportunity to find groups you relate to who with whom you share interests and values. You can personalize your search for friends much like you would on a dating app. Although meeting new people in college is overwhelming, USC holds many events every day that draw a huge range of students, from free recreational sporting activities to movie screenings, to wellness and relaxation events and trips around the Los Angeles area.

And if you are single and looking to make a connection, having a plethora of social avenues to explore is even more beneficial. The key is deciding what is right for you. 

There’s absolutely no harm in using dating apps and jumping into a thriving college dating scene, but there’s also nothing wrong with focusing on yourself. Sometimes, proclaiming to be “self-partnered” is a much-needed reminder that you are enough.