West Coast, best coast: Why you shouldn’t go East for college

Three months ago I watched my friends begin going through their closets, suddenly super stressed, meticulously trying to pick and choose the sweaters and jackets that they could manage to fit in their suitcases. I watched as their rooms started to fill with big, brown, paper boxes they had to ship across the country. I watched as they shopped online like lost puppies for big furry coats and North Face fleeces, not knowing which would keep them warm when it could randomly start to sleet in February, a concept so foreign to us Angelenos.

Being from California, right down to the heart of Los Angeles at that, there’s some odd, idealized romanticism about going “back East” for college.

I’ve heard it a million times — seniors in high school chatting with their college counselors about how yes, they’re from Los Angeles, but they’ve always felt they “belonged” on the East Coast. They can see themselves curling up with a good book and some hot cocoa as the snow begins to fall in December, catching the subway into the city after class with a chic new raincoat on, umbrella in hand, taking the new city and the new coast by storm.

I’m here to debunk this fantasy for you.

With half of my family living in the Big Apple, I’ve spent my fair share of time in the city that never sleeps. I’ve been through the hot muggy summers and the freezing cold winters.

Here’s what is really going to go down. You arrive in the armpit of New York or some weird suburb in Massachusetts at the end of August. You’re armed with a trunk full of cute new jackets and scarves to sport, but it’s 92 degrees and the humidity is off the charts. Every time you step outside your forehead is moist and sweaty. You quickly realize you can’t wear anything gray and you forgot your sunglasses back home.

But don’t fret you wild East Coasters, the horrid humidity and hot air only last for the first couple of months. Then you all experience that thing you were all so excited about. What is it called again? Oh right, “seasons.” A nice October and November of winds so strong you can’t feel your face and weather so shifty that you never know how many layers to wear. Then comes along the wonderful winter where some of you will be lucky enough to experience temperatures below zero, you can no longer get any type of iced drink from Starbucks and your butt is permanently frozen.

How’s that North Face fleece doing for you now?

For those of you who make it through the winter, well lucky you! You are rewarded with a warm, 36 degrees in March.

Whip out those tank tops and shorts everybody!!!

So for those of you that may already be thinking of transferring after reading this blog, or if you’re just ever so curious about what your West Coast counterparts are up to — just know that here at the University of Southern California it’s a sunny, 88 degrees, and it will probably be the same exact forecast three months from now.

We frequently enjoy sunbathing on McCarthy Quad after class, and every drawer in my closet contains flip-flops and shorts. We walk from class to class with sunglasses on our heads, sporting our perfect tans. We spend our weekends heading out to the beach, lounging by the pool or maybe just enjoying some California Pizza Kitchen, right here on campus. They call it livin’ the dream.

For those of you on the East Coast, hit me up in January when you realize you bought the wrong snow boots and your socks keep getting wet from the melted sleet on the ground and you don’t have any ear muffs. There’s a sofa in my room for you.

Don’t even get me started on the Midwest

So bleed orange, go blue, yay for Crimson?

But really, if you’re not from Los Angeles, and you have decided to attend this beautiful university, welcome to the best city in the world. We don’t make you walk anywhere, and we promise the temperature won’t go below 60 often. You made the right choice.

Fight on.