Back in My Day: Home sweet home
As college students, many of us don’t necessarily have to think about or plan for retirement right now. Quite frankly, it’s the least of our concerns amid the pandemic and presidential election. However, many emerging or working adults will have to make decisions and step in on behalf of older relatives for a variety of reasons. Whether that means parents or grandparents, aunts or uncles or anyone in between that may need some form of care, it’s handy to know what the lingo and tricks-of-the-trade are when evaluating housing. I’m writing this column to clear the air about the realities of senior living and shed some light on options that individuals of any age can take to prepare for the future.
Often, the term “senior living” brings to mind images of bingo games and the ladies by the pool. For others, this form of assisted living may mean feeling isolated from the world or receiving no privacy due to constant, around-the-clock care. I was practically raised in senior living communities as I would spend time with my parents there, sitting in on bingo games and strolling around the property. Sadly, as I got older, I wasn’t able to spend as much time with the residents and staff and slowly distanced myself altogether. But in the few years I spent there, I gained an understanding of both the positives and negatives of senior living.
Before we hop into the myths and realities of senior living, it’s important to understand the differences between independent living, assisted living, skilled nursing and memory care. While all of these options provide care and support for older adults, the type of services offered vary from place to place.
As a short disclaimer, I refrain from using the word “facility.” This word degrades the quality of life in these homes that are doing their best to create a space for older adults to socialize and be active. They are not acting as a sort of hospital.
Independent living communities are, as the name suggests, areas where active older adults can have a place to stay without needing many accommodations from staff. Amenities here may include physical exercise spaces, food preparation and travel opportunities, where available and safe. These communities can be further divided into low-income housing or senior apartments depending on financial accessibility and housing setup. Many of the older adults in independent living communities are partially or fully retired and do not require immediate medical assistance.
Assisted living resembles independent living communities in many ways but with added medical assistance. There are suites and apartments available for older adults interested in different living spaces, as made available under state and county guidelines. However, as I transition over to skilled nursing, it’s important to note that medical assistance in assisted living spaces usually entails medication management and minor assistance with daily tasks. Both assisted and independent living allow for older adults to be in a residential space with the benefits of added personnel and support that is consistent and helpful without being overbearing or restrictive.
Skilled nursing, also known as convalescent homes, are for older adults who need hourly care and support for medical or physical conditions. Usually under the direction of a physician, these older adults are frequently bedridden or require highly personalized care plans. Additionally, memory care housing primarily supports older adults diagnosed with a form of dementia or Alzheimer’s. Both of these housing arrangements also provide activities for their residents, amenities for easier living and opportunities to socialize where appropriate.
“But Lois,” you, the inquisitive reader asks, “How do I know when I should help out in the first place? This whole senior living thing is fairly complex, and it’s not something I want to think about right now especially given the pandemic’s effect on nursing homes.”
Honestly, I get that. It’s a stressful and sobering experience to decide whether a loved one is in need of extra care or another place to stay — and hopefully, it is a decision that you don’t have to make anytime soon. The pain and sadness that can come from seeing a loved one struggle with daily activities is one that I hope none of you have to experience; however, it is certainly a reality of aging.
That being said, consider this a small icebreaker into the world of senior living. As for your question, however, it really does depend on a variety of circumstances: health and well-being, among other obvious factors, as well as financial support and accessibility to a living community.
The pandemic has also led many families to look for an extra helping hand in taking care of an older relative or adult. Simultaneously, many older adults used to socializing with other residents may have that time taken away by social distancing mandates and changing protocols.
As mentioned earlier, there are plenty of negative stereotypes that persist when it comes to senior living. One that comes to mind is the negative connotations that color the statement “sending them to a home.” We have to realize that the nursing homes of the past have changed dramatically in recent years to better accommodate and create a more residential environment for older adults. Many older relatives can even live with their families or in a separate home that does not involve any of the mentioned living communities above. However, for the purposes of mythbusting, here are a few tidbits about senior housing.
Senior housing is not for all older people. While we may believe that we know what’s best for the older relatives in our lives, it’s important to also get their feedback as well. There’s no gain in infantilizing older adults and treating them like babies — they’re people, just like us. In hindsight, older adults don’t just sit around reading or playing golf or hanging around the shuffleboard area. They do many of the same things that we do, so let’s not limit them to just what we see on movies or in the media.
Senior housing is fluid. Sometimes, older adults may need to transition from one place to another just to find the right fit. Moreover, as mentioned before, maybe senior housing just isn’t for them in the first place.
Yes, senior housing can also be incredibly expensive. However, many of these communities are happy to plan out financial details with you as you’re preparing or researching. There are plenty of consultants and elder-care professionals that can assist you.
There is no doubt isolation can be an issue — now more than ever. Even older adults living at home outside of these communities can experience social isolation given the state of the pandemic. In many cases, this probably stems from a lack of immediate relatives or the inability for family members to visit due to scheduling conflicts and protocol restrictions. However, many communities provide older adults with a vast range of activities, from practicing meditation to showing movies, in socially distanced spaces that allow for interaction and discussion.
All in all, there is certainly plenty of research that needs to be done prior to making any senior housing decisions, but I hope that this short sneak-peak helps out a bit. In the future, our children or relatives may have to make the same decisions (with our consultation of course), making us wonder about how much senior housing has changed and thinking, “Back in my day….”
Lois Angelo is a sophomore writing about the intersections of gerontology and social issues. He is also co-chief copy editor of the Daily Trojan. His column, “Back In My Day,” runs every other Tuesday.