Wait, what’s with all the Rush?

There’s nothing quite like the testosterone-filled atmosphere of Frat Row during the first two weeks of each semester. In an attempt to buy out the inventory of local board short emporiums, all the white and white-adjacent men on campus willingly gather in front of Troy Hall to begin their journey of achieving obligatory brotherhood. 

For those of you who don’t understand what rushing a fraternity actually entails, do not fear: I have made the irreversible trek into USC’s patriarchy. This past week, I traded in my stylish fits for Banana Republic and deepened my voice to achieve maximum vocal fry. You could say that I sacrificed my dignity for the very exclusive chance of becoming a Potential New Member (PNM).

Now, there is a genuine reason I attempted a Meryl Streep-level of method rushing. As I, like many others, read USC’s grammatically-correct-yet-peculiarly-worded statement about the disaffiliations in horror on the night of Aug. 12, I asked myself: What does disaffiliation actually mean? While I am skeptical about Greek life as an institution, I was curious — too curious, enough to begin wondering if the argument of these disaffiliated fraternities really did make sense. If I could fully immerse myself into the experience of being a frat bro, would I finally understand?

My metamorphosis began with convincing myself that taking part in rushing was a preference, which came easily to me after years of convincing myself that I could win the game show “Survivor.” In a twisted way, the two shared many of the same traits: Both are hosted by rich white men, attempt to leave you a shell of your former self and take the form of utter psychological warfare. On the first round of house tours and networking, I stood among a large crowd of bright-eyed hopefuls, hungrily vying for a spot in the incoming pledge class of the newly-minted University Park Interfraternity Council.

As a result of the years of manipulative business majors and their excessive usage of LinkedIn, USC has effectively made me question that every single interaction I have with fellow students is a “networking opportunity.” In interactions with reportedly suspended (yet still very active) frats such as Delta Tau Delta, I realized that the whole rushing process was a (probably metaphorical) contest of penile-oral stimulation between PNMs and active members. That would be the first lesson I would learn. Deliciously scandalous, isn’t it?

And the even more gasp-inducing lesson: You can be gay and in a frat! However, there is the asterisk of not wanting someone “too homie-sexual” and also the ever-effective, “I’m okay with that sh*t as long as you’re not trying to come onto me.” Allyship is such a wonderful reality. Speaking of wonderful realities, I don’t want to sound bitter or vengeful. As I said, I began this process with a pure heart and hunger for man…liness. In that manner, I went back to the source of my rush-reckoning: the disaffiliation statements.

USC may have gotten the first word on the subject, but we’ll see if this prompts them to make their last: Various fraternities broke their streaks of posting meticulously curated shirtless pictures with their own multi-paragraph statements. Who would’ve thought this year’s summer reading would come with bonus material? 

Tau Kappa Epsilon attributed the break to “granting each fraternity the freedom to express itself freely without previous restrictions imposed by the university.” Meanwhile, Beta Theta Pi’s Men of Principle also spoke of previously being “forced to wait until their completion of 12 university course credits” to be eligible to rush — very principled and man-like. Chi Phi credited feeling uncomfortable about the length of USC’s sexual assault investigations for their late disaffiliation. 

Oh, was I not supposed to reveal that yet? They’re waiting until September to break the news. What a shrewd way to take advantage of official frat status during this rush. I hope this isn’t the media backlash the fraternity was trying to avoid by postponing their disaffiliation.

With my new fraternal mindset, I pieced together these reasons with much masculine gusto. The University is notoriously bad at handling sexual assault internally, and Sigma Nu is still actively recruiting. (Read that last sentence again. Yeah, I’m just as surprised as you are.) And yet, whether I reasoned as a prospective brother or a skeptical opinion writer, I felt uncomfortable with the reality of what the disaffiliation meant. The studies don’t lie: frat brothers are 300% more likely to rape. These future leading men were prioritizing their own “freedom” over procedures that would effectively cut down on a growing pile of assault cases that their metaphorical rug seems to rest atop of. 

If anything, the number of anonymous calls to local law enforcement may rise as the University decides whether to take away the one actual pull of these frats: their parties. Do it, USC, I triple-dog-dare you. In the words of a party-goer at one of Zeta Beta Tau’s many abruptly ended functions, “I’m not surprised. I think this is definitely going to keep happening … Sexual assault is something that should be taken seriously on campus, and the fact that they would rather no longer be associated with the school than respect women is something that they should have to face, and they are facing [the consequences].”