Jingle all the way to the Rose Bowl


As you may or may not know, this is the last Daily Trojan issue of the semester. It’s been a wild, crazy, bacon-wrapped-hot-dog-filled ride, but all good things must come to an end (right Pete Carroll?).

With that in mind, this is the last chance to print something about the current football season.

It seems like forever ago that Carroll ditched USC and Lane Kiffin stepped in. Hard to believe that was just earlier this year. A lot has happened since then. The Trojans had more issues — mostly off the field — than Conan O’Brien’s hair stylist.

There was the abrupt coaching change, the new athletic director, the NCAA sanctions and scholarship reductions, the Reggie Bush Heisman saga, the golf cart rides and the injuries. More has happened to the USC football program in 12 months than most program’s experience in a generation (or five if you’re Penn State).

On the field, it hasn’t always been pretty either. There were the tackling woes, the Katy Perry-like hot-and-cold running game and the general inability to perform in the clutch. There were some great wins, especially against a ranked Arizona team on the road and the blowout of Cal, but those were overshadowed by the tough, rip-your-heart-out-and-put-it-through-a-pencil-sharpener losses against Washington, Stanford and Notre Dame.

However, I wouldn’t go so far as to call this season a disappointment. Yes, USC is 7-5 and just lost to Notre Dame. Other than the two blowout losses to the Oregon schools, the Trojans could easily be 10-2 if they could only get stops in the last two minutes of the game. Part of that is inexperience, part of that is fatigue from lack of able players and part of it is just poor execution.

Considering this, and since Los Angeles seems to have decided without anyone’s permission that it is going to be cold this Christmas, there seems to be no better way to recap the last 12 months than in a song to the tune of “Jingle Bells.”

Dashing through the air, in a sweet GulfStream IV sleigh,

Pete flees to Seattle, he’s never coming back our way.

USC panics, no Santa to deliver wins this year,

Coming to save the day, Lane and his hot wife appear.

Oh!

USC, USC,

Matt Barkley is great.

The Trojans started off well but hit a spell where they gave up field goals late.

Oh!

USC, USC,

The Coliseum was magic.

Until this year when Locker was here but the Oregon game was just tragic.

Summer finally came, and with it the sanctions

That banned USC from a bowl game and took Reggie Bush’s relations.

Nikias became president; Pat Haden is rad.

He replaced Mike Garrett and nobody was mad.

Oh!

USC, USC

The sanctions hit you hard.

You had a secondary that was greener than Cheech and Chong’s backyard.

Oh!

USC, USC,

A lot with you has changed.

If you want a golf cart ride, that Dillon Baxter can arrange.

Despite what its record shows, USC was good.

The Trojans were competitive, but win, Oregon State would.

They didn’t dare venture there, for they knew what was in store.

Just like at Stanford, the Beavers rushed the field when they beat us for loss number four.

Oh!

USC, USC

Arrogance is here.

Arrogant Nation swept the school for an undefeated year.

Oh!

USC, USC

Your season ends on Saturday.

Don’t forget to wipe the ball on U-C-L-A.

“Spittin’ Sports” ran every Thursday. To comment on this article, visit dailytrojan.com or e-mail Kenny at klegan@usc.edu.