Court of law doles out wrist slaps to celebs

It’s a strange place, that Hollyweird. Whatever name you prefer — Tinseltown, Lala Land, the Thirty-Mile-Zone — there’s no denying the uniqueness of this one California city. It is a place where fantasy fights reality and, more often than not, wins. The fantasy can vary, but make no mistake about it, only an elite inner circle is lucky enough to play the game.

Sometimes the fantasy is lovable and generic — “pursuing my dreams so I can make my family proud” — while other times it can be a bit more complex — “moving from a small town to LA so I could dance onstage with a stripper pole but still conceal myself as an innocent tween pop star.”

But for quite a few celebrities, a particular fantasy is taking the town by storm: “escaping punishment if I’m charged with assault, child molestation, cocaine possession or sex with a minor.”

I guess I forgot to mention, Hollywood is also the place where fantasy becomes real life.

When you’re rich and famous, all lines of rationality are completely disfigured — in your favor, of course. Which means our jaws shouldn’t totally hit the floor when famous individuals beat the system and bypass traditional consequences for the heavyweight crimes they commit. Sure, our court system has never been perfect nor will it ever be, but is there some fine print or special clause that us regular folk have been missing?

In a game of Monopoly, if we pull the wrong card, we commoners would go directly to jail, we would not pass go and would not collect $200. Celebrities might go to jail for 84 minutes (like Lindsay Lohan did), resurface to society and continue to take our money. With this in mind, the cynical average Joe can go about his normal business hating those who are wealthy and powerful and “have it so easy.”

Well, maybe not.

Though the court of law lets celebrities go free with nothing but a slap on the wrist (except for you, Paris Hilton), the court of public opinion finds itself more stuck in the middle, teetering on the fence of moral right and wrong. We want to and know we should condemn stars who commit horrible acts, but sometimes that is just not the case.

On Wednesday night, 20-year-old singer Chris Brown put on his best Mr. Rogers outfit — an Easter-colored sweater topped with a matching bowtie — to deliver his first televised interview on Larry King Live since last February’s highly publicized assault against then-girlfriend singer Rihanna.

After pleading guilty to his felony assault charge, he was sentenced to five years probation and six months community labor — a punishment many felt let Brown off the hook.

Accompanied by his mother and attorney, Brown, who grew up in a house filled with domestic violence, described his current feelings as shame and disappointment.

Unsurprisingly, the interview, with all its strategy blatantly exposed, seemed like it was pulled right out of Damage Control 101. Brown threw out various weak excuses for his behavior, such as “being young” and “relationships are hard.”

Now, it is certain that the general population will abhor any act of domestic violence regardless of the fact that two megastars were involved. Because of the latter detail, however, everything changes.

The easy answer is that we should never support Brown again nor listen to his music. How could anyone support a man who chokeholds and headlocks someone who can so masterfully sing about umbrellas? Unfortunately for us, the situation isn’t easy.

Many of us found ourselves guiltily holding back tears after Brown’s mother gave an impassioned speech or sheepishly melting after Brown admitted to still being in love with Rihanna (cue the “ooh”s and “aah”s). We scratched our heads and thought: does he deserve a second chance?

Brown’s circumstances and quest for a public reexamining are not uncommon for Hollywood. Singer R. Kelly, who in 2007 somehow escaped serving time for his multiple counts of child pornography and engaging in sex acts with a minor, enjoyed several Billboard chart-topping records. His music career was not compromised.

Same goes for the late Michael Jackson, whose achievements have been celebrated around the clock since his death. Though the 2005 trials and accusations of child molestation plagued part of Jackon’s buzz in the media, they had minimal impact on the discussions of his life. This week, Whitney Houston, who for years battled drug rumors, released her comeback album and will once again claim her spot at number one. And even popular homemaker Martha Stewart, after her criminal stint with obstruction of justice, found herself with a still-popular magazine, a rebuilt empire and six months worth of street cred.

Generally, we would not condone the actions of convicted pedophiles, junkies or crooks, yet the public’s embrace has shown these mistakes as forgivable. Are abusive boyfriends just as lucky?

It can still be argued that just because they live in this alternate universe, no special treatment is deserved. This is true, but the public can’t seem to make up its mind. We allow icons of pop culture to send us on an emotional rollercoaster that pulls at our heartstrings and forces us reconsider our morals.

If Brown can produce more hits (musically, of course) that tap into that public emotion, he just may be forgiven.

Christopher Agutos is a junior majoring in public relations.